TORTURE LAND

A photo of a Simpsons statue outside The Simpsons Ride.
(Thomas Hawk on Flickr)

Universal Parks News Today reports that construction walls have been put up outside The Simpsons Ride at Universal Studios Florida. The ride itself is still open, but a statue featuring the Simpson family inside a ride vehicle that stood near the attraction’s entrance has been removed.

What’s going on??? What could this mean??? I have multiple theories:

  • They’re adding a new Simpson
  • The statue was abducted in a brazen heist by notorious crimethief Carmen Sandiego
  • They’re refurbishing it
  • It turns out that for the past 15 years they didn’t actually have a license to use the Simpsons IP, and Disney sent them a cease & desist
  • In the actual ride’s storyline, Maggie does not ride along with the rest of the family, so maybe they’re finally rectifying this glaring continuity error
  • A 10 year old boy cut off Bart Simpson’s head to impress three older kids, and Universal removed the whole thing so young children wouldn’t be traumatized
  • Whoever stole the Buzzy animatronic from EPCOT is back to their old tricks
  • Something involving wokeness
  • The statue is being held for ransom by an extremist group demanding the return of the Back to the Future ride

Whatever the case may be, let’s hope it returns soon. Having the Simpsons near the sign that says The Simpsons Ride is essential to the ride’s environmental storytelling, in that people need to know who the Simpsons are before they ride their eponymous ride.

THE INSIDE SCOOP

An image of various historical figures in front of a collage of Simpsons episodes.

The dead speak! Have you ever wondered what Walt Disney, Tupac Shakur, or Cleopatra would think about The Simpsons? Well, wonder no more!

Using the hot new app Historical Figures, I interviewed A.I. simulations of famous folks from history and asked them about their favorite episode of The Simpsons. While some of the responses are surprising, it’s a little disappointing that they tended to gravitate to the same episodes, which I presume is due to the high volume of “Greatest Simpsons Episodes of All Time” articles on the internet. Some of the figures gave decent reasoning for the choices, others declined to answer, and a few of them just made up episodes. I declined to use “coins” to interview some of the most famous people, but towards the end you’ll notice I used some clever workarounds.

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JOCK CENTER

An image of Mike Scioscia from the Simpsons episode Homer at the Bat.
For many years The Simpsons has delighted the world, and also too has baseball legend Mike Scioscia, so when those two join forces you know you’re in for a good time. After deliberating for hours, all of us here at IN THE NEWS have determined the definitive ranking of all Simpsons episodes featuring Mike Scioscia as a guest star.
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RIP

A tribute card in memory of Chris Ledesma

Chris Ledesma, who served as music editor of The Simpsons for decades, has died at the age of 64. His passing was announced with a tribute card at the end of last night’s episode, “My Life as a Vlog.”

Ledesma had worked on The Simpsons from the start of the show until his retirement last May, working closely alongside the show’s longtime composer Alf Clausen. According to Wikisimpsons, he is credited on 735 episodes, along with the Disney shorts and the soundtracks.

In 2011, he launched a blog, Simpsons Music 500, where he provided a behind-the-scenes look at the show. There, he’d delve into production minutiae, such as this post about music spotting or this one about scoring sessions, becoming an invaluable resource for fans. He also used the blog to regularly answer Simpsons fans’ questions about music cues, and this generosity extended to his Twitter account. I recall he did a livestream prior to scoring session at least once, where he highlighted some of the players in the orchestra, although it doesn’t appear to be archived anywhere.

Writer/producer Carolyn Omine eulogized him in a tweet: “Chris Ledesma was a sweet man who loved his job and was really, really good at it. We miss him.”

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RDRR REPORT

The Simpsons meet the Bocellis in 'Feliz Navidad' Key Art

EDITOR’S NOTE: The following review of the latest Simpsons Disney+ short, The Simpsons meet the Bocellis in “Feliz Navidad,” was produced by the ChatGPT AI text generator using the prompt “write a blog post about a story where Homer Simpson meets Andrea Bocelli and assign a numerical rating from 1-10.”

Homer Simpson and Andrea Bocelli may seem like an unlikely pair, but in this fictional story, the two of them meet and form a unique bond.

The story begins with Homer walking home from work and stumbling upon a beautiful opera performance in the town square. As he listens to the singer on stage, he is mesmerized by the talent and approaches the singer to compliment him. The singer introduces himself as Andrea Bocelli, and Homer is in awe of the famous opera singer standing before him.

Homer and Andrea strike up a conversation, and Andrea invites the Simpson family to his upcoming concert in Springfield. The Simpson family attends the concert, and Homer is blown away by Andrea’s talent. After the concert, Andrea invites the Simpson family backstage for a private meet and greet, and the two families spend the evening chatting and getting to know each other.

This fictional story is heartwarming and inspiring, and it showcases the power of music to bring people together. The character development is strong, and the interactions between Homer and Andrea are well-written and engaging. The story also has a satisfying ending, with Homer grateful for the unexpected encounter and the memories it has created.

Overall, I would rate this story a 9 out of 10 and highly recommend it to fans of The Simpsons and Andrea Bocelli. It is a delightful and uplifting tale that reminds us that even the most unlikely people can form meaningful connections and relationships.

JEAN MACHINE

An image of two masked hackers from the Simpsons episode Lisa the Boy Scout.

Simpsons showrunner Al Jean’s Twitter account was hijacked last night by a nefarious cyberscoundrel or perhaps a rogue nation-state. The verified account was edited to impersonate Art Blocks, an NFT art project that has sold millions. Here’s a screenshot of what it looked like earlier, courtesy of comedian Friz Frizzle:

A screenshot of Al Jean's Twitter account impersonating an NFT account.

When contacted outside of Twitter, Jean confirmed the hijacking, saying “I got a text notification and it was gone,” and urged people to update their passwords.

The impostor Al Jean retweeted several artists involved with Art Blocks and the actual Art Blocks Twitter account, before announcing that a collection of digital squiggles by the artist “Snowfro” was now live. Eventually the avatar was removed, the display name was changed back to “Al Jean,” and the account was turned private. The account follows me, so I’m still able to see the impostor’s tweets, which as of this writing have yet to be deleted.

A screenshot of a tweet shilling an NFT collection.

The sudden shift in Jean’s posting style from hyping upcoming episodes to hawking crypto art did not go unnoticed. Former showrunner Bill Oakley quoted a tweet about it and added “what the hell.” “al jean got h4cked by some nft shitheads :/” tweeted Spiker Monster, a fanartist who recently had his designs featured in a couch gag. Others have noted that there doesn’t appear to be an easy way to report a hijacked account to Twitter.

We’ve had some fun with Al Jean’s tweeting in the past, but he’s a nice guy who regularly engages with fans and shares peeks at upcoming Simpsons stuff, so it’s dismaying to see him join the 37% of Americans who have had their social media profiles hacked (at least according to NordVPN).

Unfortunately, this might be the worst possible time to get hacked on Twitter (well, not that there’s a good time, mind you) as things appear to be chaotic at the social media giantess. Newly minted conquistador Elon Musk is said to be firing 50% of the company’s employees very soon, which presumably includes people on the security team. Furthermore, Musk plans to start charging famous people and organizations for the blue checkmark symbol that indicates their accounts have been verified as being the genuine article, which has already led to phishing campaigns. Non-notable people who pony up $8 a month for a Twitter Blue subscription plan will also get the coveted blue checkmark without the hassle of getting their identities authenticated, which defeats the original purpose of the checkmark and will almost certainly sow more confusion and impersonation scams down the line.

Luckily for Jean, Musk guest starred in a Simpsons episode back in 2015, so maybe he can get ahold of him directly.

THE INSIDE SCOOP

An image of David Zaslav dressed as Thanos, erasing the Simpsons from existence.

Content consumers were aghast last month when Warner Bros. Discovery suddenly removed many beloved animated series from its streaming service HBO Max and cancelled the nearly completed $90 million film Batgirl, locking them away in the studio’s iconic water tower like a certain trio of animated maniacs. Many were quick to point the proverbial finger at CEO David Zaslav, who is as focused on cutting costs as the Batman villain Zsasz is on slashing throats. Worryingly, it seems not even The Simpsons is safe from his tyrannical purge.

Suddenly, with only weeks of warning, 18 Simpsons episodes were removed from Hulu over the weekend – vanished into the ether, perhaps never to be seen again. These episodes comprised the bulk of the show’s thirty-third season, including the Emmy-nominated “Pixelated and Afraid.” It remains unclear just how Zaslav masterminded this feat, particularly as the show is produced by a rival studio and WarnerMedia sold off its stake in Hulu in 2019. What is clear is that derailing Infinity Train and closing up shop on Close Enough weren’t enough to satisfy Zaslav. Following in the footsteps of Judge Doom, he will not rest until every toon is eradicated. The creative community should be on high alert now that his reach is no longer confined to his own entertainment conglomerate.

18 episodes may not seem like much, and some of those episodes definitely sucked, but people spent a lot of time and effort making them and they deserve to have the fruits of their labor available for people to watch. Anyone seeking a legal means of viewing those 18 eradicated Simpsons episodes will simply have no choice but to purchase them from digital marketplaces, or wait until October 5, when the entire season is added to Disney+ as per licensing agreements.

PANEL PIECES

A photo of the Simpsons panel at the 2022 D23 Expo featuring Yeardley Smith, David Silverman, Matt Groening, Al Jean, Matt Selman, Tim Long, and Rob LaZebnik.
(The Walt Disney Company)

On Friday, The Simpsons held its second-ever panel at Disney’s D23 Expo, moderated by voice actress Yeardley Smith. A press release for the panel touted “a surprise so shocking it can’t even be announced in press release form!” Simpsons simps hoping for a big announcement of some kind – a new movie? A spin-off? A new game? The Ullman shorts? Cancellation??? – unfortunately had their dreams denied. Here’s a recap of the event.
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ANNOYED GRUNTS, WEB-WATCH

Simpsons writer Broti Gupta, who joined the show last year, was hounded on Twitter for insufficient loyalty to Vice President Kamala Harris.

Gupta had committed the grave sin of making a joke about one of the most powerful people on planet Earth:

In recent months, Harris has made a few verbal flubs, like saying “work together” multiple times in the span of thirty seconds, or her remarks in Highland Park that “we’ve got to take this stuff seriously, as seriously as you are because you have been forced to take this seriously.” It’s fairly innocuous stuff that wouldn’t be out of place in a page-a-day George W. Bushisms calendar from the early 2000s, but that context was ignored by the KHive (described by the Los Angeles Times as “Harris’ extensive, loose-knit and fiercely loyal fan base, which celebrates and defends the vice president with equal fervor”), which egregiously mischaracterized Gupta’s light joshing as a misogynistic and racist attack on their queen, and went into battle mode.
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WRITER WATCH

An image of Mike Reiss displaying a Minions movie in front of three shadowy figures.

With Minions: The Rise of Gru setting box office records “to infinity and beyond,” it’s clear that moviegoers the world over are still under the grip of Minion Madness twelve years after their debut in Despicable Me and remain highly invested in the continuing cinematic adventures of the three principal Minions, Kevin, Stuart, and Bob.

Despite the Minions spin-off films’ gaslighting retcon of established canon, it is clear that Gru created the Minions. But just who named those wretched pill-shaped yellow creatures? It might surprise you to learn it was Mike Reiss, a writer better known for his work with the world’s third-favorite* yellow cartoon characters, the Simpsons.

Perhaps the most startling revelation from his 2018 book Springfield Confidential, is that he, as an uncredited writer doing punch-up, came up with the idea of naming the individual Minions:

But my most lasting contribution was to Despicable Me‘s Minions: I gave the little bastards names. Throughout the script, Gru would always refer to them collectively as “boys,” but I thought it would be funny to address them each by name, since, to me, they were alike as a pile of little yellow Advils.

Even more surprising is just who he named them after:

In order to contrast their weirdness, I gave them bland white-guy names. I chose from the blandest white guys I know: Simpsons writers. I used the first names of staff members like Kevin Curran, Stewart Burns, Bob Bendetson, and about ten others.

That’s right, the Minions are named after Simpsons writers. I don’t think it’s exclusively Simpsons writers, just guys Reiss knows: of the Minions named in the first movie, I don’t see a direct analogue to Phil, Carl, or Jerry amongst the Simpsons writers room (assuming Reiss was the one who named them). It’s possible Tim was named after longtime writer Tim Long, and perhaps Mark was named after Marc Wilmore, but obviously those are very common names and could be coincidental.

For more relevations, check out Springfield Confidential, available from HarperCollins.

*With The Simpsons Ride, the Minion Mayhem ride, and huge presence of SpongeBob SquarePants, Universal Studios is home to all three, making it a must-visit for fans of the color yellow.