TORTURE LAND

Simpsons Statue Stolen???

A photo of a Simpsons statue outside The Simpsons Ride.
(Thomas Hawk on Flickr)

Universal Parks News Today reports that construction walls have been put up outside The Simpsons Ride at Universal Studios Florida. The ride itself is still open, but a statue featuring the Simpson family inside a ride vehicle that stood near the attraction’s entrance has been removed.

What’s going on??? What could this mean??? I have multiple theories:

  • They’re adding a new Simpson
  • The statue was abducted in a brazen heist by notorious crimethief Carmen Sandiego
  • They’re refurbishing it
  • It turns out that for the past 15 years they didn’t actually have a license to use the Simpsons IP, and Disney sent them a cease & desist
  • In the actual ride’s storyline, Maggie does not ride along with the rest of the family, so maybe they’re finally rectifying this glaring continuity error
  • A 10 year old boy cut off Bart Simpson’s head to impress three older kids, and Universal removed the whole thing so young children wouldn’t be traumatized
  • Whoever stole the Buzzy animatronic from EPCOT is back to their old tricks
  • Something involving wokeness
  • The statue is being held for ransom by an extremist group demanding the return of the Back to the Future ride

Whatever the case may be, let’s hope it returns soon. Having the Simpsons near the sign that says The Simpsons Ride is essential to the ride’s environmental storytelling, in that people need to know who the Simpsons are before they ride their eponymous ride.