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OJ Simpson’s ending soon. According to The National Enquirer, the athlete-turned-murderer says he “feel[s] the end coming” and has requested an early release from prison so he won’t die “like common jailhouse scum.”

This could be Simpson’s final season:

“OJ’s doctors have told him he could be dead in as little as three months because of his out-of-control blood sugar and blood pressure,” said an unnamed source.

Created in 1947 by Eunice and Jimmy Lee Simpson, the long-running former running back was popular for many years, but in recent decades has become largely reviled by all but the most fervent of fans.

[Yahoo! News]

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Alan K. SimpsonYes, you heard right. After years of anticipation and speculation, 81-year old former senator Alan K. Simpson and his youthful ward Erskine Bowles have finally announced and released a long-awaited followup to their 2010 megahit, The Simpson-Bowles Plan.

The new plan, Simpson-Bowles 2: Escape from Necron 7, goes even further than the original plan in reducing the nation’s deficit. While the original had a semblance of balance between spending cuts and revenue increases, the new plan is much more heavily tilted towards extreme austerity (which mostly involves cuts from Medicare and Medicaid), thanks in large part to the deficit hawkish Simpson, who once called Social Security “a milk cow with 310 million tits.”

The plan is also supposed to somehow serve as an “outline for a new grand bargain” between Republicans and Democrats, despite the fact even Bowles thinks the idea of a grand bargain is “at best on life support.”

Critics are calling the sequel “lame,” “vague,” “unbalanced,” and “a waste of everyone’s time.”

[Salon]

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Alan K. Simpson, the Republican co-chairman of President Obama’s bipartisan fiscal commission, removed his “size 15 feet” from his mouth to apologize to a critic on Wednesday for a stinging letter in which he compared Social Security to “a milk cow with 310 million tits.”

[New York Times]

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Is it just us, or is there something a little weird about a knife stabbing deeply into the “Nicole Brown” part of actress Yvette Nicole Brown’s name? We don’t doubt that SAG naming rules have forced Brown to suffer enough when slating her name in auditions (“Yes, ‘Nicole Brown,’ like OJ’s murdered ex-wife”), but now that unfortunate comparison’s been enshrined in the opening credits of her big break.

[Moveline]

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Barrett Prody, the brother of Simpson’s former girlfriend, has created a nonprofit corporation and an Internet Web site, the Society Against Legal Injustice Inc., to raise money for Simpson.

“I hope to help out someone who has gotten to be a good friend,” Prody said by telephone from his home in Fargo, N.D. “I want to leverage his name in an effort to right an injustice out there in Las Vegas.”

[Tampa Bay Online]