Oscar-winning composer Hans Zimmer, who scored The Simpsons Movie and whose company Bleeding Fingers provides the music for the show, recently tweeted what is perhaps the most deranged, Boomer-brained take on the Supreme Court overturning Roe v Wade:
That’s right: the elimination of the constitutional right to obtain an abortion by an illegitimate, unelected and unaccountable council of elders running a train on 50 years of precedent is just a mere distraction from the January 6 Capitol riot hearings, no doubt orchestrated by none other than Vladimir Putin himself. Stop protesting your loss of bodily autonomy and turn on the TV! You can only care about one thing at a time, everything else is a distraction.
I’m sure the J6 committee is doing hard, necessary work, and recently-revealed details like former/future President Trump allegedly throwing a plate at the wall and trying to wrestle control of a car from the Secret Service are funny. That said, it’s a little hard to care because, well, nothing will actually come of it. The chairman said they’re not making any criminal referrals, leaving it up to the Justice Department. Does anyone actually think they’re going slap handcuffs on ol’ Donny Drumpf and frogmarch him into the hoosegow? I’d be happy to be proven wrong, but never underestimate his ability to wriggle out of jams. Meanwhile, the erosion of civil liberties is something that, y’know, directly affects people. That coup was a success.
The IN THE NEWS Decision Desk projects that Diamond Joe Biden will win the election and become America’s Dictator, barring any last-minute chicanery from forces loyal to the embattled President Trump. Over on Twitter, Simpsons staff members are giddy with delight, including executive producer James L. Brooks, who had some… interesting thoughts regarding that gorgeous babe we call democracy. However, they may soon rue the day Biden staggers across the finish line once they realize they could be locked out of the Emmy Awards for another presidential term.
Back in 2014, IN THE NEWS posited a theory behind the show’s conspicuous lack of Emmy wins during the Obama Administration:
Of course, there may be another reason for the show’s recent Emmy drought. Their last win in the Animated Program category was for “Eternal Moonshine of the Simpson Mind” in 2008, the last year of the Bush Administration. Could President Obama be behind this…?
Malarkey, you say? The Simpsons’ Emmy drought would continue until the episode “Mad About the Toy” won in 2019, which, according to Google, was when Donald Trump was president, giving credence to the theory.
The Biden campaign pitched his regime as a return to the Obama years. Undoubtedly that will involve bone-crushing austerity, but will it include Obama’s unprecedented blockade of The Simpsons’ rightfully-deserved Emmy Awards? In Biden’s own words: “nothing would fundamentally change.”
Republican presidential candidate Herman Cain likes to quote movies. And not just any movies, but movies based on cartoon franchises. As reported by our sister blog, AnimeJihad, Cain quoted a song from Pokémon: The Movie 2000 during a debate last August. As any political analyst could tell you, it was a brazen dog whistle for the highly-coveted otaku crowd (a move popularized by Lee Atwater’s so-called “Shounen Strategy”). Which apparently worked, because he soon shot up to frontrunner status.
Well now the Cainster is at it again. During a campaign stop in New Hampshire, Cain wheeled out his new talking point, telling his supporters “We need a leader, not a reader.”
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America was now discovered in 1942 by… [consults paper] “Some Guy.” And our country isn’t called America anymore. It’s Boehnerland.
This one guy, Representative Mike Honda (D-CA), is real mad because the Post Office rolled out some stamps with The Simpsons on them, instead of some stamps honoring Japanese-American WWII veterans. Money quote: “I question the direction USPS is headed when it pays homage to Homer Simpson over the sacrifice of our venerable Nisei veterans.” BURN!!! The Stamp Police are all like, whoa, hey, we’re not supposed to honor specific military units, because all veterans are equal in the eyes of The Lord Almighty or whatever. According to them, stamps are supposed to be “a reflection of our culture,” which entails making literally a billion stamps with little pictures of cartoon characters plastered on them. These stamps are vitally important to America in order to “raise awareness about the show,” because apparently slapping Homer’s face onto every conceivable tacky piece of junk produced since 1990 just hasn’t been raising enough awareness of The Simpsons these days (it’s still on TV, you know!). Why does the Post Office, and by extension President Barack Obama, hate our veterans???
Also, ha ha, some nerd at Roll Call got a chance to show off his Simpsons knowledge by “incidentally” noting that Bart Simpson is a stamp collector, as mentioned in the fifth season episode “Homer the Vigilante” (episode 93, 5X12, original airdate 1/7/94, production code 1F10) [Roll Call]
Your Elected Representatives are using Your Tax Dollars to write Simpsons fanfiction. There is no explanation for this.
Republican Senate hopeful Montgomery Burns today joined with Mayor Joe Quimby, D-Springfield, to support the Senate’s gazillion-dollar SCHIP bill.
“If the poor children can get a piece of the action, why can’t I?” explained Burns at a MoveOn.org rally in Capital City. “The little darlings are needy? Me, too. I need somebody to pay. Quimby here says he knows a bunch of low-income nobodies who are ripe for the picking. Excellent.”
Read the rest, it gets better. [House Energy and Commerce Committee Republicans via Wonkette]
Have you ever wondered what Senator Chris Dodd (D-CT), Democratic presidential candidate, would look like if he was a Simpsons character? Yeah, me neither, but here it is anyway. [MySpace via Wonkette]
Last week, Congressman Peter DeFazio, of Springfield, Oregon, sent a tongue-in-cheek letter to Attorney General Alberto Gonzalez.
DeFazio was petitioning for an “investigation” of how Springfield, Vermont, could have won the right to host the movie premiere of “The Simpsons,” over his own hometown.
I’m sure Gonzalez will get right on this as soon as he’s done depriving everyone of their civil liberties [KTVZ]