OAKLEY CORRAL

A political cartoon of Bill Oakley looking at a calendar and discovering that the year is 1984.

Former Simpsons producer and fast food expert Bill Oakley was unjustly suspended from Twitter Monday, joining the legions of American patriots who have had their free speech curtailed by unaccountable Silicon Valley overlords.

Twitter CEO and Simpsons guest star Elon Musk recently announced that “legacy” blue checkmarks, a symbol that used to signify the authenticity of notable accounts (i.e. celebrities and businesses), would be removed unless they paid for a Twitter Blue subscription. Many, including LeBron James, have declined to pay the fee. Although Twitter later backtracked by exempting the 10,000 most-followed brands, Musk, who uses Prosecute/Fauci pronouns, had the checkmark removed from the New York Times‘s account after Prosecute learned from a meme that the company would not pay Fauci to keep it.

Oakley, who still had a blue check, seized the opportunity and impersonated the newspaper by changing his display name to “The New York Times” and changing his avatar to match theirs. He then posted a series of satirical tweets, including one referencing the famous “Steamed Hams” segment he wrote for a 1996 Simpsons episode:

A screenshot of a tweet by Bill Oakley posing as The New York Times. Text: A six-year Pulitzer Prize-winning NYT investigation has revealed that Seymour Skinner was not actually cooking a roast that was ruined but in fact was baking a ham.

Musk had declared “Comedy is now legal on Twitter” last October, but much like Principal Skinner’s claims that aurora borealis had manifested entirely in his kitchen, it was a lie. Musk’s goons moved swiftly to annihilate Oakley’s account, reverting his display name and removing his avatar. Oakley confirmed he had been banned using his assistant’s account. With this move, Oakley joins an ever-growing contingent of free-thinkers, including such luminaries as Rep. Lauren Boebert, Ye, and @catturd2, who have had their God-given right to post suppressed by the Big Tech regime in coordination with The Swamp and the Mainstream Media, an Orwellian hellstew of censorship not seen since the days of Joe McCarthy.

Oakley’s account is still viewable, which makes me assume it’s a temporary suspension and not a permanent ban, although who knows for sure. In the meantime, Oakley’s thoughts can be viewed on Instagram or by signing up for his Steamed Hams Society & Food Discovery Club. For now.

OAKLEY CORRAL

An image of Bill Oakley facing off against the Wendy's mascot

Watch out Wendy’s, because a certain showrunner is bringing the heat!

Former Simpsons producer Bill Oakley WENT OFF on the chain’s recently reintroduced Spicy Chicken Nuggets during a live Instagram review earlier this month. “I wanted to go try them, I’ve never had Wendy’s spicy nuggets,” he told his followers, explaining that although he dislikes Wendy’s chicken, he wanted to see what the hype was about and be prepared for the inevitable comparison to McDonald’s Spicy Chicken McNuggets.

Well, the writer of “Steamed Hams” must have felt pretty steamed himself when he ate a nugget and discovered it didn’t taste very good.
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EXCLUSIVE, OAKLEY CORRAL

PrinceBill Oakley has done it again. Last Friday on Twitter, the former Simpsons showrunner revealed his personal top ten Simpsons episodes that were “pitched, discussed, [and] written,” but, for whatever reason, never produced and lost to the sands of time.

Now, most of our competition would just lazily copy & paste the list and call it a day, but we here at rubbercat.net/simpsons have much more respect for you, the reader. We have attempted to dig up as much information about these would-be episodes as possible, from audio commentaries, interviews, and story outlines, to bring you the most complete picture of these extra-bonus-non-episodes as possible. Let’s run through the list, shall we?


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OAKLEY CORRAL

zuckerbergMark Zuckerberg and his Facebook goons have apparently deleted Bill Oakley’s Facebook account, effectively rendering the former Simpsons showrunner and current Portlandia producer a non-person in this hyper-connected age. The crack team at Facebook determined that Oakley was illegally impersonating former Simpsons showrunner and current Portlandia producer Bill Oakley, who is the same person, and swiftly deleted his account. Despite being informed his account will not be reactivated “for any reason,” Oakley has taken to the Twitter to bring the issue to as many Facebook employees as possible, as well as popular tech blogs Mashable and the New York Times’ Bits blog. In the eyes of this reporter, it is great to see Facebook allocating its resources on protecting little-known TV producers from impersonation instead of focusing on less important issues, like instituting better privacy safeguards.

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OAKLEY CORRAL

Julian Assange
Bill Oakley.

Former Simpsons writer/showrunner and notorious “hacktivist” Bill Oakley, who has been in communication with fans via the internet since before most people even had the internet, has been tearin’ up the Twitter lately, uploading a treasure trove of rare Simpsons material that has never before been made public. Among the documents uploaded so far: the first draft of “$pringfield, (Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Legalized Gambling),” the first draft of the “Skinner and the Superintendent” segment from “22 Short Films About Springfield,” the original story outline for “Two Bad Neighbors,” and a list of random ideas.

Among the more intriguing ideas lost to the sands of time:

  • An aborted “$pringfield” subplot involving Bruce Willis, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and Sylvester Stallone maintaining a Planet Hollywood in Springfield that got dropped since the three actors never actually agreed to be on the show.
  • More scenes of Springfield being hit by an economic recession, which somehow feels more timely and relevant than last year’s “No Loan Again, Naturally” despite being written a decade earlier.
  • George and Barbara Bush eating pizza.
  • An episode plot where Bart obtains 144 Jeeps for some reason.
  • This visual gag:
     

    The town secretary records the vote in a ledger, where we see
    previous idiotic town votes, e.g. “Above-Ground H-Bomb Test,”
    “Lower Drinking Age to 14,” and “Build Monorail.”

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OAKLEY CORRAL

josh weinsteinBill Oakley, one half of the ethnic comedy duo “Oakley & Weinstein,” has a brand-new blog in which he lists unpopular food carts in Portland, Oregon. Here’s a sampler:

100% Vegan Styrofoam Cupcakes (SW 4th & Hall)

Neglectful Mom’s Empty Bag Lunches (SE 3rd & Ankeny)

Vintage & Collectible Milk (NE 23rd & Alberta)

All fans of “Allied Biscuit” and “TableTime” are invited to attend. [Portland’s Least Popular Food Carts via @thatbilloakley]