GROEN DRAIN

Popular celebrity-stalking website TMZ has posted an article by Melissa-Mindy Trump Hilton, who bears strong resemblance to comedienne Amy Sedaris, in which she declares her intentions of becoming the Akbar to Matt Groening’s Jeff:

People have been saying that I have “set my cap” on becoming “Mrs. Matt Groening.” And they say that for the entire summer, I have been drunkenly throwing myself at Matt, in a way that appears almost desperate, making plans to cross his path during movie industry events and parties and receptions, always popping up at his side. And that one incident where I got kind of drunk at the Viper Room with Matt that caused my banning. Anyway: Matt Groening and I are “just friends,” as they say. We do like to go to the beach together, we’ve been to a few local spas, we enjoy board games like Twatch and Scrabble. But we are just friends. Period. Oh, well, I have my hopes … like any girl does. But for now those hopes are private and I know that TMZ won’t betray my confidences.

[TMZ]