OAKLEY CORRAL

A political cartoon of Bill Oakley looking at a calendar and discovering that the year is 1984.

Former Simpsons producer and fast food expert Bill Oakley was unjustly suspended from Twitter Monday, joining the legions of American patriots who have had their free speech curtailed by unaccountable Silicon Valley overlords.

Twitter CEO and Simpsons guest star Elon Musk recently announced that “legacy” blue checkmarks, a symbol that used to signify the authenticity of notable accounts (i.e. celebrities and businesses), would be removed unless they paid for a Twitter Blue subscription. Many, including LeBron James, have declined to pay the fee. Although Twitter later backtracked by exempting the 10,000 most-followed brands, Musk, who uses Prosecute/Fauci pronouns, had the checkmark removed from the New York Times‘s account after Prosecute learned from a meme that the company would not pay Fauci to keep it.

Oakley, who still had a blue check, seized the opportunity and impersonated the newspaper by changing his display name to “The New York Times” and changing his avatar to match theirs. He then posted a series of satirical tweets, including one referencing the famous “Steamed Hams” segment he wrote for a 1996 Simpsons episode:

A screenshot of a tweet by Bill Oakley posing as The New York Times. Text: A six-year Pulitzer Prize-winning NYT investigation has revealed that Seymour Skinner was not actually cooking a roast that was ruined but in fact was baking a ham.

Musk had declared “Comedy is now legal on Twitter” last October, but much like Principal Skinner’s claims that aurora borealis had manifested entirely in his kitchen, it was a lie. Musk’s goons moved swiftly to annihilate Oakley’s account, reverting his display name and removing his avatar. Oakley confirmed he had been banned using his assistant’s account. With this move, Oakley joins an ever-growing contingent of free-thinkers, including such luminaries as Rep. Lauren Boebert, Ye, and @catturd2, who have had their God-given right to post suppressed by the Big Tech regime in coordination with The Swamp and the Mainstream Media, an Orwellian hellstew of censorship not seen since the days of Joe McCarthy.

Oakley’s account is still viewable, which makes me assume it’s a temporary suspension and not a permanent ban, although who knows for sure. In the meantime, Oakley’s thoughts can be viewed on Instagram or by signing up for his Steamed Hams Society & Food Discovery Club. For now.

GABBIN' ABOUT GOD

dohGood news, they’re finally fining The Simpsons for making bad episodes! Well, ok, not The Simpsons directly. And it’s for blasphemy, not quality. But we can at least pretend!!!

Last week, Turkey’s Supreme Board of Radio and Television fined the Turkish broacaster CNBC-E (which I assume is not affiliated with the CNBC that employs Joey Ramone’s muse Maria Bartiromo) 52,951 Turkish Liras – or $29,593.15 in actual money – for airing last year’s Simpsons Halloween special, which featured a blasphemous depiction of God in a parody of Dexter. Here is a description of the segment courtesy of Wikisimpsons:

Ned Flanders drives through a seedy district of Springfield and starts doing lots of good chores, until he dumps a severed body into a local lake. Mr. Burns then drives up to dump nuclear waste in the lake and a large booming voice tells Ned to kill him. Ned does so and dumps the body in the lake too. Back at home, Ned gets ready to kill again when asked by who he thinks is God and also kills Sideshow Bob and Patty and Selma. He eventually finds out that Homer has been ordering these deaths, not God, and goes to kill Homer. Homer then burns Ned’s Bible and the real God comes along and strangles Homer to death. When Marge walks in, God blames Ned for the death. Marge asks God to put everything right but he says that the Devil wouldn’t like it, when he suddenly comes along and asks God to make him tea. Then, Maude Flanders comes along and asks the Devil to come back to bed, annoying Ned greatly.

Um, yeah.

This doesn’t bode well for the upcoming Turkish adaptation of God, The Devil, and Bob.

[The Hurriyet via BBC News]

WHAA...?!

duff beerAccording to the French Simpsons site The Simpsons Park, the French networks W9 and Canal + have been blurring Duff Beer in Simpsons reruns. Why? Because a German brewer somehow won a trademark dispute with Fox and now they can legally sell Duff Beer, complete with a logo completely ripped off from the show. Although Fox had two Duff Beer trademarks filed in the European Union, a Belgian court annulled them “because they weren’t registered for an actual beverage” (the German brewer, Duff Beer UG, has applied for their own trademark, which takes a lot of chutzpah). And now that Duff Beer is available in France, French TV has to blur Duff Beer because advertising alcohol is apparently illegal there, and showing this fictional beer that’s been around for over two decades could be seen as an advertisement for this insane rip-off beer that brazenly stole its name and logo and has nothing to do with The Simpsons. Europe is weird.

WHAA...?!

meltdownNetworks in Germany, Austria, and Switzerland are planning to edit Simpsons episodes that feature nuclear disasters, because evidently the Fun Police in those countries have decided it’s not ok to laugh at cartoon meltdowns while real-life meltdowns are occurring. It’s unclear how far these networks are intending to go; the episodes “Homer Defined” and “King-Size Homer” would almost certainly be severely cut down or removed from rotation altogether, but are appearances by Blinky the three-eyed fish ok? What about Homer throwing a bar plutonium in the sewer every week in the title sequence? Fortunately, the censors only have to go through eight seasons, after which Homer all but quits his job at the plant to take on a multitude of wacky new jobs.

Meanwhile, Diablo Canyon Power Plant in California, best known for being namedropped in “Bart on the Road,” is facing increased criticism for violating safety regulations, as well as its close proximity to multiple fault lines.

[Hollywood Reporter via @dailysimpsons]
[Rachel Maddow]