WHAA...?!

Kids in TV Land, you’re being duped!

Social media users in Egypt are convinced the situation in Syria is actually a vast U.S. conspiracy to destabilize the region. The smoking gun? The Party Posse episode of The Simpsons.

Business Insider explains:

In the episode, entitled “New Kids on the Blecch,” Bart, Milhouse, Nelson and Ralph, are tapped for a boy band, The Party Posse, whose first single, “Drop Da Bomb,” turns out to be a subliminal recruitment video for the U.S. Navy. In the song’s music video, the boys pilot war planes, parachuting into an unnamed Arab nation to teach the local women to wear bikinis and play tether ball.

And if you look closely, a jeep in the video clearly displays the flag now used by the Syrian opposition.

On what appears to be the Egyptian equivalent of the CNN show that just regurgitates whatever people are saying on Facebook (that is, all of them), an anchor played a clip of the episode, and repeatedly stressed that the episode came out in 2001, way before the Syrian opposition started using their flag. (Sidenote: Does this opposition group have a name? That might be something that would be good to know.)

What does this mean??? There are only three possibilities:

  1. Syrian rebels are big-time Simpsons nuts and borrowed their flag from the episode, as a strange, obscure homage of some sort. Maybe it’s to them what the Bort joke is to us in the west.
  2. It’s a coincidence, because all flags basically look the same. Stars, bars, sometimes a crescent moon or an eagle.
  3. The so-called “war” in Syria is a bunch of smoke and mirrors, with the U.S., Israel and Gulf Arab countries pulling the strings. It’s nothing more than a false flag simulation produced by Lockheed and Oracle and Rockwell Collins, with propaganda about chemical attacks being disseminated by their lackeys in the media.

Clearly, #3 is the most likely explanation. As I recently discovered, the Simpsons writing staff is actually a front for the CIA, who often use the show to spread disinformation and plant grotesque “pre-clues” to 9/11. I guess they just decided to reuse some art assets for their fake rebel group instead of designing a new flag? Damned budget cuts are completely dismantling conspiracies right and left.

[Business Insider]

THE INSIDE SCOOP

dana gouldWhile researching “SIMPSONS ALUMNI UPDATE 2010,” I learned that former Simpsons writer Dana Gould used the pseudonym “Lawrence Talbot” on the “Simpsons Go To China” episode where Aunt Selma buys a Chinese baby who has never been mentioned since. Gould’s use of a pseudonym struck me as peculiar: was it because of some legal thing? Could it be that a writer who started in the post-funny era could actually be so ashamed of his work that he would want to distance himself from it? What’s the point of using a pseudonym when the genuinym is so easily findable on the Internet?

Now, IN THE NEWS is a Very Serious News Organization that takes great pride in its journalistic integrity – here is my real, actual, not-making-this-up press badge – and so, for answers, I went straight to the source: the only e-mail address I could find on his website.

From: simpsons@rubbercat.net
To: info@danagould.com
Date: Sat, Mar 20, 2010
Subj: lawrence talbot

dear mr. gould

i have a press inquiry: why did u use a pseudonym for the simpsons episode “goo goo gai pan”? or is wikipedia got it’s facts wrong.

thanx

urs in christ,

adam

http://rubbercat.net/simpsons/news

I got no response. OK, whatever, this probably happens to Morley Safer all the time. Undeterred, I sent a second inquiry, this time with all the respectability I could summon.

From: simpsons@rubbercat.net
To: info@danagould.com
Date: Thu, Apr 8, 2010
Subj: press inquiry

Dear Sir Or Madam Whom It May Concern:

On the 20th of March I sent a press inquiry to this address, which as of this writing has not garnered a reply. I shall rephrase and repeat the question in hopes of an answer: why did Mr. Gould choose to use the pseudonym “Lawrence Talbot” for the The Simpsons episode entitled “Goo Goo Gai Pan” (production code #GABF06, original airdate 13 March 2005)?

I am an important member of The Press and I will not rest until I get an answer. A simple “no comment” will suffice. You may answer “off the record” if that is more palatable to you.

Yours in Christ,

Adam

Head Journalist, IN THE NEWS

http://rubbercat.net/simpsons/news

Then I sort of forgot about this whole thing for a while, but then I remembered about it and I got mad. I was through playing games. It was time for answers!

From: simpsons@rubbercat.net
To: info@danagould.com
Date: Fri, Apr 23, 2010
Subj: ultimatum

I’ve had it!!! Twice I have e-mailed this address for a simple answer as to why Dana Gould used the pseudonym Lawrence Talbot, and I STILL have gotten no response! WHAT ARE YOU HIDING, DANA GOULD? If I don’t get a response by April 30th, I will have no choice but to go public with unfounded rumours and speculation about Mr. Gould. YOU CANNOT HIDE FROM THE PRESS.

Adam

http://rubbercat.net/simpsons/news

Needless to say, I still have yet to receive a response from Mr. Gould or his associates.

So why is this guy, Dana Gould, hiding behind a fake name and stonewalling the fourth estate? Here are my theories:

  • Dana Gould murdered a teenage girl during a trip to China
  • Dana Gould shot up an entire orphanage
  • Dana Gould was fired from Fox because of his rampant drug abuse
  • Dana Gould is the reason The Simpsons is so bad now
  • Dana Gould was ashamed of his name after discovering it is an anagram for “analog dud”
  • Dana Gould was incarcerated at the time (prisoners are not allowed to write for TV)
  • Dana Gould is a deadbeat dad attempting to hide his TV revenue from his ex-wife
  • Dana Gould was in possession of evidence that could have brought down the Bush Administration
  • Dana Gould was put into witness protection after seeing a mafia guy kill a dude
  • Dana Gould’s body is the current soul vessel for the entity once known as “Andy Kaufman”

No denials as of yet… hmmm….