Twitter user @Homer_Marijuana‘s gripping Simpsons weedpunk saga that took cyberspace by storm has come to an end, and is a must-read for anyone who’s a fan of The Simpsons, irony, millennial angst, and/or illicit activity.
YOUNG WIGGUM: All the kids are talking about the Fallen Simpsons. How bud ruined their lives. Their house is going to be repossessed.
— Marijuana Simpson (@Homer_Marijuana) July 2, 2014
First, a little backstory: after allegedly losing some sort of bet with internet mogul vrunt, the Twitter user formerly known as collatingbones was forced to reconfigure his brand around the concept of “what if homer simpson smokes weed.” For the first couple of weeks, @Homer_Marijuana posted musings about the concept of beloved cartoon icon Homer Simpson smoking the marijuana drug and unrelated tweets.
MAGGIE: You don't think it's problematic to gauge our family's success by marijuana consumption? MARGE: [exhales huge blunt hit] Go to bed.
— Marijuana Simpson (@Homer_Marijuana) July 1, 2014
Then on June 29th it shifted gears and settled into a narrative, told almost solely in short bursts of dialogue one tweet at a time, about the Simpsons and their unliked son Ken smoking weed on a gazebo known as the “Herb Fortress.” The stakes grew higher the next day: after America is attacked on 9/11, Bart (age 19) is deployed to Iraq and becomes a remorseless killer. As Homer tries to stop the war, the Simpson men become mixed up with Al Qaeda and international drug lord Circus Bob. The family becomes torn apart, and Lisa temporarily moves in with the twin aunts Thelma and Selma. Sonic the Hedgehog grapples with the death of his father and rival dealer Bender moving into his territory. Nelson searches for a surrogate father. Apu is discovered to be very valuable. Flanders tries to learn how to be like Homer, but ends up draining the Simpsons’s gravity bong by mistake. Maggie is briefly disowned for accidentally feeding thirty years of kief to the dog.
BART: But you have me killing activists…poets…Why? What do they have to do with it? CHENEY: [enraged] THEY HAVE EVERYTHING TO DO WITH IT
— Marijuana Simpson (@Homer_Marijuana) July 3, 2014
Later, Bart returns home and has trouble re-assimilating back into society. Maggie becomes obsessed with megabats. Moe’s efforts to get a family has tragic consequences. Global drug magnate Mr. Burns plans something shady, and his former ally Officer Wiggum becomes determined to crack down on the drugs that have turned Simpson City into a den of iniquity. Throughout the story, characters lament their fate, Lenny, Carl, and Moe (later, Bumblebee Man) comment on story developments like a Greek chorus, and it becomes a musical towards the end.
HOMER: I wanted to be an artist once. Now I mechanically pursue the means to stay blazed. I am a slave to this wicked plant.
— Marijuana Simpson (@Homer_Marijuana) July 5, 2014
Sound intriguing??? The whole story has been collected and reformatted into screenplay format on Scribd for your perusal.