ANNOYED GRUNTS

homer rockstarA music critic at Drowned in Sound has a beef with The Simpsons: for some inexplicable reason, that integrity-lacking coward sellout Matt Groening won’t let Jackie-O Motherfucker be on his 8 o’clock sitcom.

He claims to be a fan, having booked them when curating ATP, yet asked recently by The Guardian if he’d consider having them on his show, he replied, “That would be pushing it”. Given that Groening purports to have taste, it would make a refreshing change from the conveyer belt of populist, soft-rock cameo appearances from the dinosaur likes of U2, REM, Metallica, Aerosmith, The Rolling Stones, and Green Day.

Fair enough – Groening used to brag about inviting Spinal Tap and The Ramones over the objections of the Fox network back in the day; it’s hard to imagine network bigwigs objecting to U2, Coldplay, and Katy Perry. But what about the controversial name? Jackie O died just seventeen short years ago, and America still needs time to grieve.

The needlessly provocative band name could be bleeped out, or they could abbreviate it to ‘JOMF’, as the group’s more recent record sleeves have done. They could perform an impromptu gig at Moe’s, with Lisa providing the free-sax solos.

AND MAYBE THEY CAN DRAW ME IN THE AUDIENCE, AND I’LL BE NEXT TO HOMER AND HANK SCORPIO, AND EVA SALENS WILL SEE ME, AND SHE’LL WINK AT ME, AND HOMER WILL GIVE ME A HIGH FIVE [Drowned in Sound]