ANNOYED GRUNTS

homer rockstarA music critic at Drowned in Sound has a beef with The Simpsons: for some inexplicable reason, that integrity-lacking coward sellout Matt Groening won’t let Jackie-O Motherfucker be on his 8 o’clock sitcom.

He claims to be a fan, having booked them when curating ATP, yet asked recently by The Guardian if he’d consider having them on his show, he replied, “That would be pushing it”. Given that Groening purports to have taste, it would make a refreshing change from the conveyer belt of populist, soft-rock cameo appearances from the dinosaur likes of U2, REM, Metallica, Aerosmith, The Rolling Stones, and Green Day.

Fair enough – Groening used to brag about inviting Spinal Tap and The Ramones over the objections of the Fox network back in the day; it’s hard to imagine network bigwigs objecting to U2, Coldplay, and Katy Perry. But what about the controversial name? Jackie O died just seventeen short years ago, and America still needs time to grieve.

The needlessly provocative band name could be bleeped out, or they could abbreviate it to ‘JOMF’, as the group’s more recent record sleeves have done. They could perform an impromptu gig at Moe’s, with Lisa providing the free-sax solos.

AND MAYBE THEY CAN DRAW ME IN THE AUDIENCE, AND I’LL BE NEXT TO HOMER AND HANK SCORPIO, AND EVA SALENS WILL SEE ME, AND SHE’LL WINK AT ME, AND HOMER WILL GIVE ME A HIGH FIVE [Drowned in Sound]

AZTEC THEATRE

Earlier this year, some radio show noticed that singer-songwriter Usher’s chart-topping hit song “OMG” sounds remarkably like a song Homer Simpson tried to compose in the particularly awful 2003 episode “Dude, Where’s My Ranch?” Judge for yourself:

I don’t believe Mr. Usher intentionally committed songtheft. Like most of us who watched that episode, he must have tried to block it from his mind, but no matter how hard we try to repress our memories of Current Simpsons, bits and pieces still manage to escape. Try as I might, I can’t forget about Sideshow Bob Jr., or that Snowball II is actually Snowball V now, or the time Homer was Kurt Cobain for some reason. In Usher’s case, that little ditty somehow seeped through his mental blockade, years later and drained of its context, and because of cryptomnesia, he thought he’d come up with the tune himself and then proceeded to turn it into a hit single.

Unfortunately for him, this is not the first time he has been accused of plagiarizing a non-human. Last year, a devastating expose revealed he had stolen the opening of “Papers” from a goat. [YouTube via @ShawnElliot]

ROCK BOTTOM

joanna!!!!!Popular songstress and harpy Joanna Newsom is reportedly appearing in an upcoming Simpsons episode. It’s being described as a “guest appearance,” but I have reason to believe this is merely a smokescreen for the real truth: the producers are secretly bringing in Newsom to replace Yeardley Smith as the voice of Lisa Simpson.

Now, I know what you’re thinking: hey, the Yeardster’s voiced America’s favorite starfish-haired feminist for nearly 25 years! They’re not just going to throw her under the bus! Well, let’s take a look at the evidence:

FACT: Newsom’s voice is often compared to that of Lisa Simpson’s.

FACT: The voice actors are not getting any younger.

Just look at what happened to Frank Welker, who used to voice the dog: the producers discovered Dan Castelleneta could voice the dog just as good, so they gave Frankie the boot. Could history repeat itself again when Newsom comes in to record what she believes is a cameo? Let’s say, hypothetically, a director slides her a script and asks her, just for funsies, to read some of Lisa’s lines. And what if, that night, the producers get together, in secret, and compare her vocal track with Smith’s… and decide Newsom’s is better?

If I were Yeardley Smith, I’d be looking over my shoulder at all times. And I were Joanna Newsom, I’d leave the harp at home, in order to prevent any Nancy Kerrigan-type shenanigans… Developing… [TwentyFourBit ]

UPDATE (10/20/2010): IN THE NEWS has successfully shamed the producers from going through with their plan, and Joanna Newsom’s cameo is definitely not happening. Yeardley Smith, you’re welcome. [Pitchfork]

COMING ATTRACTIONS

In a stunt that puts NBC’s “Green Week” initiative to shame, Fox has apparently ordered several of its shows to include a musical number as part of a week-long campaign dubbed “Fox Rocks,” presumably to promote the network’s two most unpopular shows, American Idol and Glee. The Simpsons is participating by having “Homer, Marge and the gang” “rock out” to the song “TiK ToK” by Ke$ha in a couch gag.

When The Simpsons started, executive producer James L. Brooks had enough clout to mandate no network interference, which helped make the show great.

What happened? [The Wrap]

RDRR REPORT

rdrrSimpson Crazy is re-writing Simpsons song lyrics in code over the Twitter:

if ( lisa.isBirthday ) print “Happy Birthday, Lisa.” #songsincode
6:27 AM Aug 21st from web

if( floors.stickEMart && dad.sickEMart && hurl(brickEMart) && doh ) needKwikEMart = false; #songsincode #simpsons
7:54 AM Aug 21st from web

class Monorail { awfullyLoud=false; trackCouldBend=false; brainDeadSlobs.give(cushyJobs); sentByDevil=false; } #simpsons #songsincode
9:15 AM Aug 21st from web

[Twitter.com/SimpsonCrazy via Sx2]

WRITER WATCH

In a fan Q+A, The Office writer-actor Mindy Kaling (Kelly) namedrops Simpsons writer Danny Chun, who was apparently “raving about Hot Chip and Vampire Weekend like fifteen years ago.” Given Mike Scully’s love for NRBQ and Al Jean’s love for on-the-nose musical montages, Chun needs to be promoted to executive producer immediately. [Office Tally]

D'OH REPORT

Kalina says this of the surprise Simpsonization: “A few months back a producer from the Simpsons contacted Carly [Comando] about using her song ‘everyday’ for an upcoming episode in which they were going to parody my video. She was negotiating a rate for the song, until they never got back to her. No fee was agreed on, no contracts signed. She and I both assumed that they were no longer interested in using her song for the show. Last night the episode aired and sure enough her song is part of the show. What’s up with that?! I am thrilled that the Simpsons parodied me, but Carly should have been compensated.”

[Gothamist]

ROCK BOTTOM

Some music sites are reporting that rock band Fall Out Boy, whose name unintentionally comes from Radioactive Man’s young ward, will be on the upcoming Simpsons Movie soundtrack. But is it possible they were forced into it, in lieu of being sued by Fox for copyright infringement? What else is Fox forcing the band to do? Developing… [The Rock Radio]