Midterm Election Winners & Losers, and Their Simpsons Counterparts

Senate candidate Christine O’Donnell (R-DE): Lisa Simpson

Like Ms. O’Donnell, Lisa has dabbled in witchcraft and lied about her college attendance.

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV): Mayor Quimby

Nobody really likes either politician, but they can manage to hold on to their jobs as long as they’re up against really polarizing candidates, like homicidal maniac Sideshow Bob or Tea Party weirdo Sharron Angle.

Gubernatorial candidate Carl Paladino (R-NY): Fat Tony

paladino/fat tony
The tough-guy candidate threatened to “take out” a reporter, and wielded a baseball bat like a crazy man during his bizarre concession speech. Now, for legal reasons, I’m not saying Paldino is part of the mob, but he seems to be channeling Springfield mafioso Fat Tony.

Senate candidate Sharron Angle (R-NV): Maggie Simpson

Nevada reporters tried to get Angle to answer questions, but she remained stubbornly silent, much like the perpetually binkied Simpson baby. Also, both appear to be in favor of exercising “Second Amendment remedies.”

Gubernatorial candidate Meg Whitman (R-CA): Mr. Burns

Both are super-rich CEOs with low favorability ratings who spent millions of dollars of their own fortune in unsuccessful bids for the governorship of their respective states. Burns’ campaign was hampered by a three-eyed fish, while Whitman had to deal with an undocumented immigrant maid.

Governor Charlie Crist (I-FL): Waylon Smithers

Governor Crist, who lost his re-election bid, has a weird tan thing going on, just like Smithers in an early episode.

Senator-elect Joe Manchin (D-WV): Chief Wiggum

Both men appear fond of shooting things that don’t really need to be shot, such as television sets or Senate bills.

Senator-elect Rand Paul (R-KY): Artie Ziff

They’re both arrogant nerds who can come off as a little creepy. Paul’s way with women (he fake-kidnapped a co-ed and forced her to pray to “Aqua Buddha,” a college prank colorfully recreated at 0:39 in this video) sorta brings to mind Marge’s prom date’s “busy hands.”

Senator Russ Feingold (D-WI): Mr. Bergstrom

The principled civil liberties champion beloved by liberals everywhere, who was “out-man-of-the-peopled” by a millionaire businessman, brings to mind Lisa’s cherished substitute teacher Mr. Bergstrom. Feingold/Bergstrom showed us what an ideal progressive/father would be like, but we have to settle for the well-meaning but flawed Obama/Homer.

Representative John Boehner (R-OH): The “Honorable” Bob Arnold

Lisa Simpson’s idealism and faith in government was broken when she witnessed Springfield’s congressman, Bob Arnold, covertly accept a briefcase full of money from a timber lobbyist. Boehner, the soon-to-be Speaker of the House, literally passed out checks from tobacco lobbyists on the House floor.

Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi (D-CA): Gloria Grand, Radioactive Girl!

pelosi/radioactive girl
Back in the 1950s, Radioactive Man’s longtime girlfriend Gloria Grand absorbed some of his powers and briefly became Radioactive Girl. She was almost as radioactive as Nancy Pelosi, who was demonized by Republicans – and her fellow Democrats – in a zillion campaign ads this year.

Senate candidate Joe Miller (R-AK): Lenny

Despite having mastered the “blue collar slob” persona, both men are both highly educated – Lenny apparently holds a master’s degree in nuclear physics; Miller is a Yale law graduate. Both of them have been less than completely honest about their backgrounds – Lenny lied about having a wife, and Miller lied about accessing government computers for political purposes as a government attorney. Also, they could both use a shave.

Senate candidate Alvin Greene (D-SC): Comic Book Guy

greene/comic book guy
Comic Book Guy is currently the star of his own comic book.

Alvin Greene, ditto.

Senate candidate Linda McMahon (R-CT): Roger Meyers, Jr.

McMahon and Meyers are purveyors of cartoony violence marketed to a young demographic.

Senate candidate Charlie Melancon (D-LA): Frank Grimes

Just how unlucky do you have to be to lose against a guy caught in a prostitution scandal? No matter how many times Melancon/Grimes tried to point out David Vitter/Homer Simpson’s glaring deficiencies, nobody seemed to care. Let’s hope Melancon doesn’t accidentally electrocute himself to death in frustration.

Representative John Adler (D-NJ): Hans Moleman

Hans Moleman got hit in the groin by a football. John Adler got hit in the polls by a football player.

Gubernatorial candidate Jimmy McMillan (I-NY): Ralph Wiggum

Rent Is Too Damn High Party founder Jimmy McMillan and second-grader Ralph Wiggum are both immensely popular and highly quotable characters, but they’re forever doomed to remain in supporting roles.

Senate candidate Ken Buck (R-CO): Gabbo

Gabbo was caught on tape saying “All the kids in Springfield are SOB’s.” Buck, a Tea Party favorite, was caught on tape asking someone to “tell those dumbasses at the Tea Party to stop asking questions about birth certificates.” Despite these gaffes, the two continued to enjoy widespread popularity, but eventually lost the ratings war/election.

Representative Rush Holt (D-NJ): Professor Frink

Rush Holt is a rocket scientist.

Representative Rosa DeLauro (D-CT): Nameless Generation X Guy

Rosa DeLauro is a fucking hipster.

Representative Charlie Rangel (D-NY): Bart Simpson

The long-serving New York congressman coasted to re-election, despite being slapped with 13 counts of ethics violations last summer. Currently awaiting trial, he continues to maintain his innocence.

Quoth the Bartman: I didn’t do it, nobody saw me do it, you can’t prove anything!

Chairman Michael Steele (R-RNC): Clumsy, Clouseau-esque Waiter

The head of the Republican National Comittee has made an astonishing number of gaffes that rivals the chowder-mispronouncing, Clouseau-esque waiter in sheer clumsiness. Hopefully no trucks full of rat traps pull up next to GOP headquarters anytime soon.

Provocateur Sarah Palin (R-AK): Homer Simpson

Sarah Palin’s Twitter, September 1, 2010:

Wow,media goofballs rearing heads this wk,big time!Wonder what’s up?Taking the cake:ink re:Bristol=a diva? Silly;obviously have nvr met her

Homer Simpson’s love letter, February 13, 1992:

Maybe it’s the beer talking Marge but you got a butt that won’t quit. they got those big chewy pretzels here merJanthfgrr five dollars??!!!? get outta here

President Barack Obama (D-USA): Marge Simpson

Oh, sure, they may have seemed attractive back in the day, but now they’re stuck in a rut. They insist they’ve made progress that’s gone unnoticed (“When I first met your father, he was loud, crude and piggish. But I worked hard on him, and now, he’s a whole new person!”). Their optimism and lofty rhetoric has been persistently derided by critics. They have a tendency to nag. They seem woefully out of touch with the young people (“Well, anyone who beats you up for wearing a shirt isn’t your friend.”). And they’ve stooped to appearing in places beneath their dignity (The View, The Daily Show, Playboy) in misguided publicity stunts. Yet, they remain fairly level-headed (no easy feat, considering the size of their hair/ears) and have the power to reign in their partners’ wild schemes.

Governor-elect Jerry Brown (D-CA): Dan Castellaneta

The voice of Homer looks like he could be Governor Moonbeam’s little brother. I can’t the only one who sees this, right?