Cato Institute Actually Just A Bunch of Simpsons Dorks

to tahitiThe Cato Institute, the highly respected and influential libertarian think tank, just released an important study revealing that the Obama Administration’s push for high-speed rail is exactly the same as as an episode of a cartoon show:

Biden’s performance brings to mind the classic Simpsons episode “Marge vs. the Monorail” in which con-man Lyle Lanley convinces the town’s residents to waste money on an exciting-sounding high-speed train that turns out to be a boondoggle.

Looks like Vice President Biden made the mistake of talking to a group of people about transportation and being enthusiastic about it! Everybody knows you’re not supposed to do that anymore, or else you’ll be compared to a Phil Hartman character from 20 years ago. Doesn’t this guy have handlers?

There are some uncanny parallels between the two pitches.


Lanley’s promises never pan out, as he’s really a con-artist who suckered the town into buying a faulty train that doesn’t work. Joe Biden means well, but his train isn’t going to work either — not without wasting hundreds of billions, and perhaps a trillion, taxpayer dollars.

Now I’m not saying the vice president is a con-artist or anything… but has anyone checked to see if Biden happens to have a couple bags with dollar signs on them? Is this whole “infrastructure” thing just a scam so he can buy more hair plugs???

But seriously: cartoon dorks have infiltrated our think tanks. The ivory towers of academia have been scaled by pop culture junkies. When they’re not fighting for corporate tax cuts or spreading climate change disinformation, do Cato scholars argue about who would win in a fight between Optimus Prime and He-Man? When can we expect a definitive report on the Joel vs. Mike issue that has plagued our nation?

The Simpsons has become so institutionalized that it has already become a weapon in our political discourse. A throwaway Groundskeeper Willie line became a rallying cry for warhawks, and Republican congressmen opposed to giving kids healthcare wrote Mr. Burns fanfiction. The show has already done irredeemable damage to the nation’s perception of nuclear energy; if Cato is successful in pushing the “HIGH-SPEED RAIL = SIMPSONS MONORAIL” talking point into the mainstream, large-scale transit infrastructure could be next. And here I thought libertarians were supposed to be super into trains, if this trailer for Atlas Shrugged: The Movie is any indication.

And it’s not just The Simpsons anymore. We now live in a world where an entire generation is growing up to hate Al Gore because of that stupid Manbearpig episode of South Park, politicians campaign on their resemblance to Family Guy characters, activists use Futurama episodes to argue against gay marriage, and Supreme Court justices cite Jack Bauer. Yes, the national dialogue is being penned by Seth Macfarlane. [Cato @ Liberty]