Joe Biden

THE INSIDE SCOOP

A Shinigami stands over Lisa.

The Simpsons has won an Emmy for Outstanding Animated Program, marking the first time the series has received the coveted award under a Democratic president since 2000.

The show had won in 2001, 2003, 2006, 2008, and 2019 during the George W. Bush and Trump administrations, but conspicuously had not won during the entirety of Obama’s eight-year presidency, no doubt the handiwork of the former Commander in Chief himself. After Diamond Joe Biden “won” the “election” in November 2020, IN THE NEWS speculated this Emmy drought could continue during his regime. Well, whatever control Obama held over the entertainment industry is apparently no more, as the show’s latest win has broken his curse forevermore.

The episode that won, “Treehouse of Horror XXXIII,” is the first holiday-themed anthology episode to win. Back in 1996, the producers submitted “Treehouse of Horror VI” under the belief that the CGI-animated “Homer3” segment would give it an edge. This time, their gambit paid off, as an anime-style segment parodying Death Note animated by the South Korean studio DR Movie in a short amount of time was a clear highlight of the episode.

NOISELAND ARCADE

An image of Activision Blizzard's marquee franchises, with the cover of Simpsons Wrestling crudely replacing Diablo.

Activision’s The Simpsons Wrestling, long considered one of the worst Simpsons video games if not video games period, could have a second life thanks to Microsoft’s pending acquisition of its parent company.

Theoretically, the 2001 PlayStation-exclusive game could be ported over to Xbox and released on the Game Pass subscription service, giving a new generation of gamers the chance to have Groundskeeper Willie wail on Lisa Simpson.

Pure poppycock, you say? Consider this: last year saw the surprise return of Konami’s 1991 Simpsons arcade game in the form of an arcade cabinet replica, so who’s to say Simpsons Wrestling isn’t due for a nostalgic revival? Secondly, Microsoft isn’t spending $68.7 billion to not release games, are they?

That said, if they were to port the game, why not use the opportunity to remake it from the ground up? What if Disney teamed up with Activision Blizzard to completely reimagine Simpsons Wrestling as a platform fighting game with a huge roster of Simpsons characters to compete with Super Smash Bros., Nickelodeon All-Star Brawl, and Warner Bros.’ upcoming Multiversus? The Simpsons has been AWOL from console games for years – a Smash clone would be a great way to herald a new era of Simpsons games.

Of course, Activision’s Simpsons license probably expired years ago, EA being the game’s publisher in international markets could cause some legal headaches, and there’s a slight chance so-called “President” Biden’s cronies in the FTC might not even approve the deal in the first place. But a gamer can dream…

THE INSIDE SCOOP

An image of the decaying ruins of Washington, DC - Fallout concept art by Craig Mullins

The Fox Network has renewed the popular television cartoon The Simpsons for yet another two seasons, ensuring audiences nationwide will still be entertained during the final months of the republic and beyond.

From the press release:

Emmy Award-winning Animation Domination kingpin THE SIMPSONS has been renewed for its 33rd and 34th seasons on FOX, carrying the series to 2023 and a total of 757 episodes. ¡Ay, caramba!

As the United States enters its death throes under the Biden regime, new episodes of The Simpsons will provide a sense of stability as our beloved homeland collapses, assuming of course that television will continue to broadcast.

This is the first renewal since Disney’s acquisition of the company formerly known as 20th Century Fox (Fox, the channel, is still owned by the Murdochs). Some had speculated the show might move to producing new episodes exclusively for Disney+, where it’s consistently one of the service’s most popular shows. In the linear world, however, ratings continue to dwindle, and The Hollywood Reporter called it a loss leader for the network. Nevertheless, fans can rest assured that the comedic antics of Homer, Bart and the other Simpsons will continue to provide a fun diversion from the corpses piling up outside.

[FOXFLASH]

THOSE CLOWNS IN CONGRESS

An image of Joe Biden, Kamala Harris, and an unknown third person from The Simpsons.

The IN THE NEWS Decision Desk projects that Diamond Joe Biden will win the election and become America’s Dictator, barring any last-minute chicanery from forces loyal to the embattled President Trump. Over on Twitter, Simpsons staff members are giddy with delight, including executive producer James L. Brooks, who had some… interesting thoughts regarding that gorgeous babe we call democracy. However, they may soon rue the day Biden staggers across the finish line once they realize they could be locked out of the Emmy Awards for another presidential term.

Back in 2014, IN THE NEWS posited a theory behind the show’s conspicuous lack of Emmy wins during the Obama Administration:

Of course, there may be another reason for the show’s recent Emmy drought. Their last win in the Animated Program category was for “Eternal Moonshine of the Simpson Mind” in 2008, the last year of the Bush Administration. Could President Obama be behind this…?

Malarkey, you say? The Simpsons’ Emmy drought would continue until the episode “Mad About the Toy” won in 2019, which, according to Google, was when Donald Trump was president, giving credence to the theory.

The Biden campaign pitched his regime as a return to the Obama years. Undoubtedly that will involve bone-crushing austerity, but will it include Obama’s unprecedented blockade of The Simpsons’ rightfully-deserved Emmy Awards? In Biden’s own words: “nothing would fundamentally change.”

WHAA...?!

to tahitiThe Cato Institute, the highly respected and influential libertarian think tank, just released an important study revealing that the Obama Administration’s push for high-speed rail is exactly the same as as an episode of a cartoon show:

Biden’s performance brings to mind the classic Simpsons episode “Marge vs. the Monorail” in which con-man Lyle Lanley convinces the town’s residents to waste money on an exciting-sounding high-speed train that turns out to be a boondoggle.

Looks like Vice President Biden made the mistake of talking to a group of people about transportation and being enthusiastic about it! Everybody knows you’re not supposed to do that anymore, or else you’ll be compared to a Phil Hartman character from 20 years ago. Doesn’t this guy have handlers?

There are some uncanny parallels between the two pitches.

OH I BET THERE ARE.

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