We have a saying over here in the news-media industry: it goes “Thank God* For Press Releases” (*replace with your deity of choice). Reporting the news can be such a hard, thankless job – breaking scoops, raking muck, threatening informants with bodily harm until they squeal – that it’s always a pleasant surprise when a publicist sends us a press release that we can just republish in full and take the rest of the day off. So, from the bottom of my heart, and the hearts of everyone else covering the Simpsons beat, I just want to say “Thank You,” to the publicists of the world! You are what keeps us going.
Anyway, our star insider Virgil Texas over at Klasky-Csupo just faxed us over this EXCLUSIVE press release about the upcoming 23rd season of the Simpsons program. Wow! 23 seasons! It seems like only yesterday they were on Season 19. Let’s see what magic the writers have cooked up for us this time…
Dear Treasured Viewer,
As you know, “The Simpsons,” America’s only animated family, is gearing up for an unprecedented 23rd season. And since the show is one of the few NewsCorp properties to not be implicated in either the phone hacking scandal or inciting the London riots, you can expect to see Homer, Bart, Lisa, and the rest on your HDTV screens for many years to come. Here’s a sneak preview of the first four episodes (by production code) coming this fall:Crab Your Enthusiasm (Season Premiere)
After arguing over “seafood market etiquette” with a rude stranger (guest star Larry David), Homer finds out he has a veneral disease. Meanwhile, Lisa pretends to be a Jew in order to attend a Hebrew private school, only to get shipped off to Israel right in the middle of a genocide.
Disappointed that nobody reads his mainly food and bowel movement-related Twitter updates, Homer cuts a deal with the Mafia to get more followers. But will Homer crack under the pressure of every Springfield resident following his feed? Meanwhile, Marge becomes addicted to a cleaning-related Facebook game. Guest starring Ashton Kutcher, Piers Morgan, and @Lord_Voldemort7.
Treehorse_ebooks of Horror
Lisa’s riding lessons are derailed when her assigned horse emits a constant stream of non-sequiturs. Meanwhile, Bart and Barney hang out, make small talk, no big whoop. Guest starring Aziz Ansari as the deranged horse.
After Bart converts to Scientology, Lisa’s violent internet-fueled protest is thwarted as the whole town learns a lesson about religious tolerance. Written by Nancy Cartwright.
Despite the late Harry Shearer’s untimely contract dispute, these episodes and many more will be ready to air just in time for Major League Baseball to end and football season to start heating up. Thanks for your continued support, loyal fan who grow up with the show!
‘s Office Junior Intern
Hoo boy! Looks like we’re in for a real hoot and a half! I’d say The Simpsons Show is better than ever! I don’t know what kind of Magic Drug the writers are taking to stay so creative and funny after two decades at the top, but whatever it is: Don’t Stop!!!! Ha ha! Just kidding we do not condone drug usage (illegal). As always if you’ve got a hot burning Simpson scoop you can e-mail it over to us at firstname.lastname@example.org or contact us over at our social networks on Facebook or Twitter or MySpace.com (AOL Keyword: SIMPSONS NEWS & INFO). Ciao for now!!!!