Year in Review: The Top Stories of 2011

Well here we are at the end of yet another year, and The Simpsons is still on the air, and will remain so for the forseeable future. Here are the top twenty Simpsons-related stories of the year, as reported by IN THE NEWS, considered by some to be the very best, most intrepid Simpsons news source in the known universe….

Long-Lost Simpsons Clip Resurfaces – An awfully prescient Bart Simpson explains why The Simpsons is still on the air.

Cato Institute Actually Just A Bunch of Simpsons Dorks – Cartoon dorks infiltrate the Cato Institute and try to destroy high-speed rail by comparing Vice President Biden to monorail grifter Lyle Lanley.

Internet Randomly Assigns Bart Simpson A Birthday – For some reason the internet it was Bart Simpson’s birthday, but I set the record straight with some straight-up FACTS.

Matt Groening Finally Sells Out – Yes, it’s true. The reclusive creator of The Simpsons finally okayed the production of clothing with his characters on them.

Meltdowns Being Removed From The Simpsons – An earthquake basically made Japan an uninhabitable radioactive cesspool, so the proper response was to censor all negative portrayals of meltdowns and whatnot from a cartoon. Nuclear Power Is Safe

Cartwright to Atheist: Don’t Have A Cow, Man – Nancy Cartwright tried to inject some Scientology into public schools, but she said some catchphrases in her Bart voice so everyone laughed it off.

Boring Cartoon Sitcom To Be Remade By Boring Cartoon Sitcom Guy – What if The Flintstones was “edgy” like Family Guy??? I predict a lot of jokes about “getting stoned”

Writing Outsourced to ShippersThe Simpsons has been fanfiction for a long time, but now they’ve made it official.

There’s A Family Guy MMO Coming Out – I don’t think it ever actually came out though? Oh well

Royal Couple to Simpsons: “We Are Not Amused” – The Simpsons got rejected by royalty, ha ha

News Corp. Just Straight Up Hacking Everyone These Days – Things aren’t looking good for the Simpsons’ corporate parent! Or at least they weren’t back in July. Now nobody cares about it.

The Simpsons Are Going To Antarctica!!! – But will it hold a candle to The Simpsons Go To Afghanistan?

Polly Platt (1939 – 2011) – We paid our respects to the woman who introduced James L. Brooks to Matt Groening.

A Primer on Possible Simpsons Replacements – Just kidding, The Simpsons will never die, ever, and if it does it’s going to take a long time to get rid of the smell.

Marge Simpson Had Rabbit Ears – Finally, undeniable proof that Marge Simpson’s secret rabbit ears were canon for one fleeting moment.

There Is No God: Simpsons Renewed Through Season 25 – A long, rambling post about the big Simpsons pay dispute thing.

Milhouse Could’ve Starred In A Saturday Morning Cartoon – Did you know Matt Groening pitched a cartoon featuring Milhouse before The Simpsons? I thought this was a neat little nugget of Simpsons trivia but it turns out nobody else cared, at all.

Libya Imitates The Simpsons – Hahaha they stuck a dead guy in a freezer and showed it to people. That literally happened.

Three-Eyed Fish Discovered Near Nuclear Power Plant – WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE.

Positive Reviews Are Virtually Indistinguishable From Negative Reviews – Not even Simpsons cheerleaders can deny the unoriginality.

Herman Cain Channeling President Schwarzenegger From The Simpsons Movie – Ha ha, Herman Cain, remember that guy? He said some pretty stupid stuff, like inadvertent Simpsons quotes.

It’s Been 22 Years Since The First Simpsons Episode – And 22 years since the first negative review.

See you in 2012, losers!