THE INSIDE SCOOP

pissA top-secret informant has come forward with the plots of several upcoming episodes that will air in the upcoming 22nd season:

The Maude Squad
Maude Flanders returns to Springfield through an emergency exit door in Heaven

My Son Is Also Named A-Bort-ion
An old flame leads Marge to make a shocking revelation. Meanwhile Homer is tricked into becoming a pissboy. Jon Lovitz reprises his role as Jay Sherman.

Now You See It, Now You Donut
A diet hypnotist makes Homer blind to fatty foods. Guest starring Mel Brooks and Rep. Joe Wilson.

Kenya Feel It?
At Grampa’s urging the Simpsons travel to Hawaii to find President’s birth certificate.

Love Hack
Lisa starts a successful web 2.0 startup only have her code stolen by Mark Zuckerberg. Homer constructs a tin roof. Guest starring Justin Long and Jon Hodgman, with Heidi Montag and Kim Kardashian as “shack sluts”

Feel free to send us your hot Simpsons tips by e-mail (simpsons@rubbercat.net) or by Twitter (@rubbercatsimp). We take great pains to ensure the anonymity of our sources. [Twitter.com/virgiltexas]

THE INSIDE SCOOP

dana gouldWhile researching “SIMPSONS ALUMNI UPDATE 2010,” I learned that former Simpsons writer Dana Gould used the pseudonym “Lawrence Talbot” on the “Simpsons Go To China” episode where Aunt Selma buys a Chinese baby who has never been mentioned since. Gould’s use of a pseudonym struck me as peculiar: was it because of some legal thing? Could it be that a writer who started in the post-funny era could actually be so ashamed of his work that he would want to distance himself from it? What’s the point of using a pseudonym when the genuinym is so easily findable on the Internet?

Now, IN THE NEWS is a Very Serious News Organization that takes great pride in its journalistic integrity – here is my real, actual, not-making-this-up press badge – and so, for answers, I went straight to the source: the only e-mail address I could find on his website.

From: simpsons@rubbercat.net
To: info@danagould.com
Date: Sat, Mar 20, 2010
Subj: lawrence talbot

dear mr. gould

i have a press inquiry: why did u use a pseudonym for the simpsons episode “goo goo gai pan”? or is wikipedia got it’s facts wrong.

thanx

urs in christ,

adam

http://rubbercat.net/simpsons/news

I got no response. OK, whatever, this probably happens to Morley Safer all the time. Undeterred, I sent a second inquiry, this time with all the respectability I could summon.

From: simpsons@rubbercat.net
To: info@danagould.com
Date: Thu, Apr 8, 2010
Subj: press inquiry

Dear Sir Or Madam Whom It May Concern:

On the 20th of March I sent a press inquiry to this address, which as of this writing has not garnered a reply. I shall rephrase and repeat the question in hopes of an answer: why did Mr. Gould choose to use the pseudonym “Lawrence Talbot” for the The Simpsons episode entitled “Goo Goo Gai Pan” (production code #GABF06, original airdate 13 March 2005)?

I am an important member of The Press and I will not rest until I get an answer. A simple “no comment” will suffice. You may answer “off the record” if that is more palatable to you.

Yours in Christ,

Adam

Head Journalist, IN THE NEWS

http://rubbercat.net/simpsons/news

Then I sort of forgot about this whole thing for a while, but then I remembered about it and I got mad. I was through playing games. It was time for answers!

From: simpsons@rubbercat.net
To: info@danagould.com
Date: Fri, Apr 23, 2010
Subj: ultimatum

I’ve had it!!! Twice I have e-mailed this address for a simple answer as to why Dana Gould used the pseudonym Lawrence Talbot, and I STILL have gotten no response! WHAT ARE YOU HIDING, DANA GOULD? If I don’t get a response by April 30th, I will have no choice but to go public with unfounded rumours and speculation about Mr. Gould. YOU CANNOT HIDE FROM THE PRESS.

Adam

http://rubbercat.net/simpsons/news

Needless to say, I still have yet to receive a response from Mr. Gould or his associates.

So why is this guy, Dana Gould, hiding behind a fake name and stonewalling the fourth estate? Here are my theories:

  • Dana Gould murdered a teenage girl during a trip to China
  • Dana Gould shot up an entire orphanage
  • Dana Gould was fired from Fox because of his rampant drug abuse
  • Dana Gould is the reason The Simpsons is so bad now
  • Dana Gould was ashamed of his name after discovering it is an anagram for “analog dud”
  • Dana Gould was incarcerated at the time (prisoners are not allowed to write for TV)
  • Dana Gould is a deadbeat dad attempting to hide his TV revenue from his ex-wife
  • Dana Gould was in possession of evidence that could have brought down the Bush Administration
  • Dana Gould was put into witness protection after seeing a mafia guy kill a dude
  • Dana Gould’s body is the current soul vessel for the entity once known as “Andy Kaufman”

No denials as of yet… hmmm….

PARDON MY ZINGER, THE INSIDE SCOOP

Al Gore would be proud: so far, Season 21 is the most environmentally-friendly season of The Simpsons yet. What makes this season so green? Each episode is made from a recycled plotline from an earlier episode:

Homer the Whopper: Radioactive Man but with Homer instead of Milhouse

Bart Gets A ‘Z’: Sweet Seymour Skinner’s Baadasssss Song but with Mrs. Krabappel instead of Principal Skinner

The Great Wife Hope: The Homer They Fall but with Marge instead of Homer

Congratulations on reducing your carbon footprint, Simpsons writers! toot [Simpsons Archive]

BONGO BEAT, THE INSIDE SCOOP

Lawyers for 20th Century Fox take copyright infringement of The Simpsons very seriously. During the early 1990s, lawyers were sent to vendors who sold bootleg Bart Simpson t-shirts. Towards the end of the decade, many Simpsons sites received cease & desist orders for the grave crime of hosting framegrabs. More recently, Fox lawyers managed to take down a series of Simpsons video parodies featuring OJ Simpson. Even creator Matt Groening, who has a collection of bootleg Simpsons merchandise, personally dispatches lawyers from time to time.

Ben Jones, an artist in the art collective Paper Rad, has recieved many acclaims for his work; Paper Rad’s avant-garde comics often appear in hip indie comics anthologies such as The Best American Comics and Kramer’s Ergot. Following the massive Kramer’s Ergot 7, of which Groening was a fellow contributor, Jones was asked to contribute to the upcoming Treehouse of Horror comic book. According to a 2003 Comics Reporter profile, this would not be his first Simpsons comic:

Effective as illustration, Ben Jones’ comics demand reading. As noted by several of his fellow cartoonists, on no planet should a comic about Simpsons characters Homer and Moe taking a walk, getting high and skinny dipping (“Ho and Mo”) work on any level for a single second, let alone be funny and affecting and a touch profound. In the Alfe stories, Jones’ most frequent recurring feature and among the first comics the artist tried to sell through Million Year Picnic, Jones uses a sizable, extremely odd cast to pay tribute to simple pleasures and the way kindness and patience act as buttresses against life’s intolerable cruelties. Jones is to the idea of friendship what the cartoonist Jack Jackson is to Texas history, its primary comics chronicler.

Additionally, The Simpsons is a recurring motif in Paper Rad’s ouvre, as evidenced by their website.

Yet, despite such egregious acts of copyright infringement, Jones and Paper Rad do not appear to have been punished for their actions. As far as I can tell from a Google search, the art collective has never received a cease & desist letter from Fox’s attorneys. In fact, with his contribution to Simpsons Comics, Jones appears to have been rewarded for his copyright infringement!!! He is being endorsed, at least implicitly, by Bongo Comics, Groening, and Fox, who are apparently turning a blind eye to his wholesale appropriation of their intellectual property. Is Jones receiving preferential treatment simply for being a celebrity? Is this really the message Bongo Comics wants to be sending to infringers?