KANCELLATION KOUNTDOWN, VOICE BOX

hey hey, it’s slideshow melOh boy, it’s that lovely time every three years or so when the Simpsons cast re-negotiate their contracts with Fox! And this time the stakes HAVE NEVER BEEN HIGHER. The Daily Beast reports that this time the voice actors are asking for a pay cut, instead of their usual pay raise. Say whaa??? Have we wandered into Bizarro World??? No, while they’re asking for a 30 percent pay cut, it’s because they want a piece of that hot, hot syndication and merchandise action worth billions of dollars in CA$H MONEY. Fox doesn’t want to give up that money (after all, their parent company News Corp. has tons of phone hacking victims to pay off), and this time they’re threatening to sirenCANCEL THE SIMPSONS. siren

Difficult bargaining is nothing new for the show, which was created by James L. Brooks and Matt Groening. Fox studio execs have occasionally threatened to replace uncooperative cast members with sound-alike actors. But for the first time in nearly a quarter century of haggling, the executives have insisted that if the cast doesn’t accept a draconian 45 percent pay cut, The Simpsons will die an abrupt death as a first-run series.

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THE INSIDE SCOOP, WEB-WATCH

BART SIMSON YUGOSLAVThe Twittersphere was in a tizzy today when a series of Tweets from @BARTSIMSON_REAL appeared to indicate the popular Twitter account had been compromised.

For those who don’t know, @BARTSIMSON_REAL aka “BART SIMSON YUGOSLAV” is the official Twitter account for Bart Simpson, who is real and Yugoslavian. Launched less than a month ago, the account has already gained over 3,000 followers and a writeup in the mainstream media (I’m also hearing rumors a book deal may be in the works). His Tweets have captivated the world and regularly burn up the retweet charts. A sampling of his output, for the uninitiated…

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TOON BEAT

seth macfarlaneTV’s greatest visionary, Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane, just dropped a new album, because voicing half the characters in three shows didn’t provide him with enough opportunities to hear his own voice. Fans of Family Guy‘s excruciatingly long musical parodies will especially love this vanity project, which features MacFarlane putting on his best Sinatra impression to croon long-forgotten showtunes. TheWrap reviewer Chris Willman says it’s “not terrible” and “nearly unmockable,” but calls MacFarlane’s voice “generic.”

So now the Family Guy guy has a big-band album, and the South Park dudes have a hit Broadway musical. What’s next, an opera penned by Mike Judge??? Face it America, your bad boy purveyors of crude cartoon filth are actually just a bunch of band geeks. [TheWrap]

VOICE BOX

homer houseJust how nice is Dan Castellaneta, voice of TV’s Homer Simpson? He is so nice that he will give you his house, if you ask him.

His best friend in the whole wide world, Simpsons co-worker Hank Azaria (Apu, Moe, etc.), was in the market for a new mansion after selling his home. Hearing that his good friend was now homeless, Castellaneta stepped up to his plate, and sold him his current mansion, the place where he lives and sleeps, because that is how nice a guy he is. Now, some people might let you stay in the guest room for a couple days or something, but Dan Castellaneta will just straight up give you his house.

So where are the Castellanetas going to live now? Nobody knows, maybe they will live in their car from now on. Only time will tell. [Los Angeles Times]

SUDDENLY SIMON

sam simonFormer executive producer and do-gooder Sam Simon wants to make a food bank, so he bought what he was told was a former Pinkberry yogurtarium for $1.2 million. Only, get this, it turns out the property was never licensed for food service, never obtained permits for anything, and it’s not clear if it was ever actually a Pinkberry. So now Simon’s understandably pissed and suing everybody. Maybe he’s finally getting his just desserts for making fun of frogurt back in the day? [TMZ]

EXCLUSIVE, NOISELAND ARCADE, WHAA...?!

marge surprisedMatt Groening came up with the idea for The Simpsons, but that doesn’t mean all his ideas are winners. Like, for instance, Marge Simpson being an anthropomorphic rabbit disguised as a human.

*record scratch* Say wha–?!? Here’s Daria Paris, who was the assistant to former executive producer Sam Simon, as quoted in John Ortved’s The Simpsons: An Uncensored, Unauthorized History:

There were times in the room when Matt would come up with the stupidest ideas. And he had this one: we were going to do an episode where Marge finally lets her hair down, and Matt’s idea was that once she let it down the audience finds out she has rabbit ears, which was ridiculous. And Sam said no.

And here’s what Groening had to say about it on the audio commentary for Selma’s Choice, when writer David M. Stern brings it up and puts him on the spot:

That was the original – back in the – my plan, back in the very beginning, that she was actually a Life in Hell rabbit from my comic strip… but then it just seemed like a… I just said “oh, forget it, there’s no ears under there.”

“Ridiculous” is putting it lightly. Here’s how I’d like to imagine that transpired: the writers and producers are seated around a giant table in a Dr. Strangelove-like Situation Room. Matt Groening causally brings up his idea that Marge Simpson – loving wife, devoted mother, future Playboy centerfold – is a rabbit in disguise, a secret that would be revealed in the final episode. A long, awkward silence ensues, as the writers sit in stunned disbelief at the utter insanity their boss just uttered. Suddenly, Sam Simon starts yelling at Groening about what a stupid idea that is. After a big back-and-forth about the plausibility of the whole concept, Simon finally puts his foot down, and Groening shame-facedly retreats to his office, to console himself with money. And thus we were all spared from the horror of Marge’s closet rabbitness being An Actual Thing.

…OR WERE WE?!?!

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D'OH REPORT, WEB-WATCH

dohBack in 2007, rival media conglomerates News Corporation and NBCUniversal put aside their differences and joined forces to create Hulu, a video site designed to combat rampant piracy. If you miss your favorite shows, you can just catch ’em the next morning on Hulu for free in exchange for watching some commercials. It’s been a big success, and something that many viewers have become accustomed to. Well, if you’ve been using the service to watch Fox shows, THE FREE RIDE STOPS HERE, BUCKO. Recently, Fox changed its rules so that Hulu viewers will have to wait eight days to watch new episodes from Fox shows, unless they pony up the cash for the subscription service Hulu Plus or prove they pay for DISH Network.

Unsurprisingly, people have turned to piracy to get their fix:

Over the last week TorrentFreak tracked two Fox shows on BitTorrent to see if there was an upturn in the number of downloads compared to the previous weeks, and the results are as expected […] During the first 5 days, the number of downloads from the U.S. for the latest episode of Hell’s Kitchen increased by 114% compared to the previous 3 episodes. For MasterChef the upturn was even higher with 189% more downloads from the U.S.

And keep in mind the fall season hasn’t started yet; these trends may increase once shows like House and The Simpsons return to the airwaves.

Admittedly, ad revenue from Hulu is paltry compared to television – former NBC executive Jeff Zucker once quipped “We’re exchanging analogue dollars for digital dimes.” But surely it’s better to make some money rather than no money, right? [TorrentFreak via TechCrunch]

BORT REPORT, WRITER WATCH

bortA couple weeks ago, Ben Joseph, a first-time Simpsons writer, went onto the notorious pony-fetish website reddit and took some questions about his experience hanging out with Bart Simpson. Some of the answers are sorta-kinda interesting – how the writing process works, how much money you get before taxes, what Hank Azaria looks like (“a bronzed Adonis”) – but then he let this little nugget of info slither out:

No restrictions. But, as much as I’d have loved to pitch an all-Bort episode, I also worked hard to pitch something that felt like something they would actually do.

Thanks for dashing our dreams, jerkwad. [reddit]