WHAA...?!

An image of Bob's Fraud Log.

The dead have risen, and they’re voting Republican… or are they? Pennsylvanian patriot Bruce Bartman got in trouble, yeah, pretty deep, for the simple crime of committing voter fraud by impersonating his dead mother so he could vote for President Trump twice, an act which should henceforth be known as “doing the Bartman.”

Here’s what’s happened, dude, according to Deep State mouthpiece The Philadelphia Inquirer:

Bartman used his mother’s driver’s license to register her to vote online, and then requested and filled out an absentee ballot in her name, Stollsteimer said. He repeated the process for Weihman, his mother-in-law, using her Social Security number. The state’s system flagged the information as belonging to a dead person, but Bartman signed a letter confirming the woman was still alive.

He did not, however, cast a ballot in Weihman’s name, according to prosecutors.

Bartman is out on bail and his lawyer says he’ll cooperate with the authorities, who claim he did it, people saw him do it, and that they can prove everything, in what could be a massive blow to Trump’s re-election chances. Anyone with a notion to do the Bartman, perhaps in a rock-like motion, should heed this warning, or they too could end up in deep, deep trouble.

THOSE CLOWNS IN CONGRESS

An image of Joe Biden, Kamala Harris, and an unknown third person from The Simpsons.

The IN THE NEWS Decision Desk projects that Diamond Joe Biden will win the election and become America’s Dictator, barring any last-minute chicanery from forces loyal to the embattled President Trump. Over on Twitter, Simpsons staff members are giddy with delight, including executive producer James L. Brooks, who had some… interesting thoughts regarding that gorgeous babe we call democracy. However, they may soon rue the day Biden staggers across the finish line once they realize they could be locked out of the Emmy Awards for another presidential term.

Back in 2014, IN THE NEWS posited a theory behind the show’s conspicuous lack of Emmy wins during the Obama Administration:

Of course, there may be another reason for the show’s recent Emmy drought. Their last win in the Animated Program category was for “Eternal Moonshine of the Simpson Mind” in 2008, the last year of the Bush Administration. Could President Obama be behind this…?

Malarkey, you say? The Simpsons‘ Emmy drought would continue until the episode “Mad About the Toy” won in 2019, which, according to Google, was when Donald Trump was president, giving credence to the theory.

The Biden campaign pitched his regime as a return to the Obama years. Undoubtedly that will involve bone-crushing austerity, but will it include Obama’s unprecedented blockade of The Simpsons‘ rightfully-deserved Emmy Awards? In Biden’s own words: “nothing would fundamentally change.”

GROEN DRAIN

An image of Seth MacFarlane's Cavalcade of Cartoon Comedy

Disenchantment creator Matt Groening appears to have quietly launched a YouTube channel last night. Currrently its sole video is “Trumpy’s Rhapsody,” a short cartoon directed by Dwayne Carey-Hill featuring Donald Trump singing a song, with the lyrics credited to Groening and Dan Castellaneta (TV’s Homer Simpson) providing the voice.

This raises some questions:

Why now? For someone who’s arguably the most famous cartoonist of the era, it’s remarkable that Matt Groening has maintained almost zero internet presence. His personal website was supposedly “under construction” for years (the domain name appears to have lapsed) and outside of the rare promotional Q&A, he’s had no official social media account or means of communicating directly to fans. Which is fine, because it’s always disappointing when you follow someone and discover they have a weird axe to grind against Cuba or whatever, and it’s also really funny to me when people – sometimes people he works with – unknowingly tag phony accounts.

What the hell did I just watch? This Trump Jib-Jab thing with Putin jokes is, uh, not my cup of tea, to put it politely. Groening is a rich, aging baby boomer Democrat (albeit one who donated to orb queen Marianne Williamson during the primaries) who works in the entertainment industry, which partially explains why he’s succumbed to Trump derangement syndrome like the rest of his peers. But I still can’t quite wrap my head around a line like “Sorry I ruined the Republican party!” coming from the same guy who drew this.

Why do it independently? The Simpsons has been putting out godawful Trump shorts since he announced his candidacy. Why Groening chose not to use the existing Simpsons infrastructure is a real head-scratcher. Was it somehow considered too edgy???

What’s next? Was this a one time thing? Could this be the start of his own version of Seth MacFarlane’s Cavalcade of Cartoon Comedy? Who knows!

[Matt Groening on YouTube via Bob Mackey]

LISTICLE PARADISO

An image of Donald Trump surrounded by Simpsons characters who definitely voted for him.

As you may have heard, there is an election going on right now. Across social media, people are speculating which TV characters voted for President Trump. As a person with both an extensive knowledge of The Simpsons and a degree in Wonk Science, I am uniquely suited to set the record straight on which Simpsons characters definitely, absolutely voted for Donald Trump in the 2016 election.
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NOSTRAD'OHMUS

An image of Ruth Bader Ginsburg's head from the Futurama movie Into The Wild Green Yonder.

As you may have heard, longtime Supreme Court justice and Funko Pop icon Ruth Bader Ginsburg recently passed away at the age of 87, a tragic occurrence nobody could have possibly seen coming… nobody, that is, except for the genius writing staff of cult classic animated sitcom Futurama! The Simpsons may grab headlines for predicting future events, like the election of President Trump, but its sister series is certainly no slouch in the prognostication department either.

In the December 2002 episode “A Taste of Freedom,” Justice Ginsburg’s disembodied head appeared as an Associate Justice of the Earth Supreme Court. Now, in case you’ve forgotten, the world of Futurama features a technology invented by Ron Popeil that keeps human heads alive in jars, even long after the person has died. Getting goosebumps yet? This means that the people behind the show somehow knew that Justice Ginsburg would pass away at some point between the year 2002, when the episode first aired, and 3003, which, according to The Infosphere, is when the episode takes place. And that’s exactly what happened in real life. Uncanny!

The head of the Notorious R.B.G., as Justice Ginsburg is commonly referred to in the ‘hood, later reappears in the 2009 OVA Into The Wild Green Yonder and the 2012 episode “Decision 3012.” Unfortunately, her name was misspelled as “Ginsberg” in all three appearances. Oh well! When you’re able to use your third eye to peer into the world beyond the veil and prophesize future events with such a startlingly high degree of accuracy, you’re bound to make a few slip-ups here and there.