GABBIN' ABOUT GOD

Are you a young person? Do you enjoy The Simpsons? If so, you are the target demographic for the Church of England’s latest attempt to show they’re “hip” and “with it.”

Called “Mixing it up with ‘The Simpsons,'” the new book will be sent to youth advisers across the nation to give them a modern example of the church’s teachings in a more entertaining format, The Sunday Telegraph said.

Among the activities included in the book is determining whether teens can resist temptation by showing them a plate of doughnuts labeled “don’t touch.”

The book also compares Christians’ patient wait for the return of Jesus Christ to the antsy nature Bart Simpson displays toward an upcoming Krusty the Clown show.

“Jesus was a great storyteller — as are the creators of ‘The Simpsons’ — and the power of a good story lies in meeting people where they are, making them laugh and then giving them something to think about afterwards,” said the Rev. John Pritchard, the Bishop of Oxford.

Come on, isn’t Matt Groening’s ego big enough?? [The Money Times]

SPRINGFIELD SHOPPER

If all goes as planned, the convenience store chain plans to refit 11 stores across the U.S. — Richmond is an unlikely choice — to resemble the front of the Kwik-E-Mart, the convenience store that Homer and other characters frequent in the classic cartoon TV series.

Customers also will be able to buy products inspired by the nearly two-decades-old show, including KrustyO’s cereal, Buzz Cola and iced Squishees (the cup says Squishee, but the contents will be Slurpee).

Here’s the best quote:

Spokeswoman Margaret Chabris said contracts on the promotions have not been signed with movie studios. She didn’t give any further details, saying the company will release more information in coming weeks.

“We’ve done research, and research shows us that our customers like . . . movies, so we’re getting involved with some major studios on some of their properties this summer,” she said.

Wow 7-11 has a crack research department [Richmond Times-Dispatch]