BONGO BEAT, SPRINGFIELD SHOPPER

CORRECTION: An earlier version of this post’s headline mistakenly said “atom” instead of “at them.” IN THE NEWS regrets the error.

radioactive man collectionThe most critically underrated component of the enormous Simpsons media empire is the Radioactive Man spin-off comic book series occasionally put out by creator Matt Groening’s Bongo Comics, which after 18 years is finally being collected in a deluxe hardcover anthology.

First, a little backstory. The premise of Radioactive Man is simple but ingenious: each issue was purported to be a random issue from the fictional comic book series’ nearly 50-year history, satirizing different comic book eras (Golden Age, Silver Age, etc.) and all the superhero conventions and gimmicks that come with it. There was initially a six-issue run in 1994, starting with #1 (mostly consistent with what we saw of it in the Simpsons episode “Three Men and a Comic Book”) and ending with a Spawn-tastic #1000, followed by an “80 page colossal” the following year. A second run debuted in 2000, this time written by the remarkable Batton Lash, with a noticeable improvement in the artwork. Each issue also featured faux ads from the Simpsons universe and letters from readers playing along with the joke (however, the letters in the second series were all fictional; i.e. #222 features a letter from a young Marge Bouvier). Everyone at Bongo is a giant comics nerd (the first issue of Simpsons Comics is a Fantastic Four reference, for example) and Radioactive Man really let them go hog-wild, sort of like how The Critic allowed Simpsons writers Al Jean and Mike Reiss do all the movie parodies they wanted.
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GROEN DRAIN, SPRINGFIELD SHOPPER

matt groening dollSimpson creator Matt Groening went to Egypt to check out the pyramid and he foolishly ignored all the hieroglyphic warnings and trespassed into the forbidden zone when all of a sudden The Mummy appeared and cast a big curse on him. As karmic retribution for all his brazen merchandising and capitalist crimes, Mr. Groening was turned into a piece of merchandise himself, how ironic. Now he is no longer human, he is just a doll and can’t do human things anymore, rip.

OK but seriously now, for just fifty American dollars you can buy a toy version of the guy whose signature appears on all your other Simpsons toys. Here’s what the solicitation says:

Created by legendary “Life is Hell” cartoonist Matt Groening, THE SIMPSONS is celebrating its 500th episode in February 2012, and Kidrobot is honoring the father of primetime animation in the only way we know how – making him into a 6-inch vinyl toy! Complete with goatee and glasses, director’s jacket, and pad and pencil accessories, it is the first EVER Simpsons Matt Groening toy.

Essentially, if you cut out the middlemen, you can pay a guy money and he will give you a doll version of himself. This is so weird and messed up that I needed to lie down to fully contemplate the many levels of Meta this object encapsulates.

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SPRINGFIELD SHOPPER

Smartphones! They’re all the rage now! The iPhone, the Android platform, and the upcoming Microsoft Windows Live Zune Phone 7 Series are all beautiful mobile operating systems that have dramatically raised the bar for OH GOD WHAT THE HELL IS THIS

simpsons android

AHUJ9BLJ8qwuyr8913h9h31oKjklajsfas;; [AndroidZoom via Sx2]

ANNOYED GRUNTS, SPRINGFIELD SHOPPER

TVShowsOnDVD.com wrote a bunch of words about the horrible DVD packaging of the equally horrible season 11. Here’s an excerpt:

How would you get the discs out of such a tight space then? You have to reach in with two fingers and pinch the edge… making it virtually impossible to not smudge your fingerprints on the “don’t touch!” side of the DVD. Also, it’s a cinch that the discs will get scratched up sooner or later, inserting them and removing them this way since 100% of the disc makes contact with the cardboard. It’s a travesty.

[TVShowsOnDVD.com]

SPRINGFIELD SHOPPER

Better invest in News Corp. stock now!

Featuring arguably the most popular sitcom family in history, “The Simpsons” revolutionized not only the TV industry but also the TV licensing biz, with a wealth of quirky characters that have translated into a multibillion-dollar merchandising franchise.

To date, Bart, Homer, Marge, Lisa, Maggie and their Springfield neighbors have appeared on everything from T’s to pinball machines, raking in more than $5 billion worldwide. All told, the program involves more than 600 licensees.

[Variety]

SPRINGFIELD SHOPPER

If all goes as planned, the convenience store chain plans to refit 11 stores across the U.S. — Richmond is an unlikely choice — to resemble the front of the Kwik-E-Mart, the convenience store that Homer and other characters frequent in the classic cartoon TV series.

Customers also will be able to buy products inspired by the nearly two-decades-old show, including KrustyO’s cereal, Buzz Cola and iced Squishees (the cup says Squishee, but the contents will be Slurpee).

Here’s the best quote:

Spokeswoman Margaret Chabris said contracts on the promotions have not been signed with movie studios. She didn’t give any further details, saying the company will release more information in coming weeks.

“We’ve done research, and research shows us that our customers like . . . movies, so we’re getting involved with some major studios on some of their properties this summer,” she said.

Wow 7-11 has a crack research department [Richmond Times-Dispatch]