Bill Oakley

OAKLEY CORRAL

A political cartoon of Bill Oakley looking at a calendar and discovering that the year is 1984.

Former Simpsons producer and fast food expert Bill Oakley was unjustly suspended from Twitter Monday, joining the legions of American patriots who have had their free speech curtailed by unaccountable Silicon Valley overlords.

Twitter CEO and Simpsons guest star Elon Musk recently announced that “legacy” blue checkmarks, a symbol that used to signify the authenticity of notable accounts (i.e. celebrities and businesses), would be removed unless they paid for a Twitter Blue subscription. Many, including LeBron James, have declined to pay the fee. Although Twitter later backtracked by exempting the 10,000 most-followed brands, Musk, who uses Prosecute/Fauci pronouns, had the checkmark removed from the New York Times‘s account after Prosecute learned from a meme that the company would not pay Fauci to keep it.

Oakley, who still had a blue check, seized the opportunity and impersonated the newspaper by changing his display name to “The New York Times” and changing his avatar to match theirs. He then posted a series of satirical tweets, including one referencing the famous “Steamed Hams” segment he wrote for a 1996 Simpsons episode:

A screenshot of a tweet by Bill Oakley posing as The New York Times. Text: A six-year Pulitzer Prize-winning NYT investigation has revealed that Seymour Skinner was not actually cooking a roast that was ruined but in fact was baking a ham.

Musk had declared “Comedy is now legal on Twitter” last October, but much like Principal Skinner’s claims that aurora borealis had manifested entirely in his kitchen, it was a lie. Musk’s goons moved swiftly to annihilate Oakley’s account, reverting his display name and removing his avatar. Oakley confirmed he had been banned using his assistant’s account. With this move, Oakley joins an ever-growing contingent of free-thinkers, including such luminaries as Rep. Lauren Boebert, Ye, and @catturd2, who have had their God-given right to post suppressed by the Big Tech regime in coordination with The Swamp and the Mainstream Media, an Orwellian hellstew of censorship not seen since the days of Joe McCarthy.

Oakley’s account is still viewable, which makes me assume it’s a temporary suspension and not a permanent ban, although who knows for sure. In the meantime, Oakley’s thoughts can be viewed on Instagram or by signing up for his Steamed Hams Society & Food Discovery Club. For now.

JEAN MACHINE

An image of two masked hackers from the Simpsons episode Lisa the Boy Scout.

Simpsons showrunner Al Jean’s Twitter account was hijacked last night by a nefarious cyberscoundrel or perhaps a rogue nation-state. The verified account was edited to impersonate Art Blocks, an NFT art project that has sold millions. Here’s a screenshot of what it looked like earlier, courtesy of comedian Friz Frizzle:

A screenshot of Al Jean's Twitter account impersonating an NFT account.

When contacted outside of Twitter, Jean confirmed the hijacking, saying “I got a text notification and it was gone,” and urged people to update their passwords.

The impostor Al Jean retweeted several artists involved with Art Blocks and the actual Art Blocks Twitter account, before announcing that a collection of digital squiggles by the artist “Snowfro” was now live. Eventually the avatar was removed, the display name was changed back to “Al Jean,” and the account was turned private. The account follows me, so I’m still able to see the impostor’s tweets, which as of this writing have yet to be deleted.

A screenshot of a tweet shilling an NFT collection.

The sudden shift in Jean’s posting style from hyping upcoming episodes to hawking crypto art did not go unnoticed. Former showrunner Bill Oakley quoted a tweet about it and added “what the hell.” “al jean got h4cked by some nft shitheads :/” tweeted Spiker Monster, a fanartist who recently had his designs featured in a couch gag. Others have noted that there doesn’t appear to be an easy way to report a hijacked account to Twitter.

We’ve had some fun with Al Jean’s tweeting in the past, but he’s a nice guy who regularly engages with fans and shares peeks at upcoming Simpsons stuff, so it’s dismaying to see him join the 37% of Americans who have had their social media profiles hacked (at least according to NordVPN).

Unfortunately, this might be the worst possible time to get hacked on Twitter (well, not that there’s a good time, mind you) as things appear to be chaotic at the social media giantess. Newly minted conquistador Elon Musk is said to be firing 50% of the company’s employees very soon, which presumably includes people on the security team. Furthermore, Musk plans to start charging famous people and organizations for the blue checkmark symbol that indicates their accounts have been verified as being the genuine article, which has already led to phishing campaigns. Non-notable people who pony up $8 a month for a Twitter Blue subscription plan will also get the coveted blue checkmark without the hassle of getting their identities authenticated, which defeats the original purpose of the checkmark and will almost certainly sow more confusion and impersonation scams down the line.

Luckily for Jean, Musk guest starred in a Simpsons episode back in 2015, so maybe he can get ahold of him directly.

NEWS ROUNDUP

A collage of random Simpsons-related pictures.

Here’s a roundup of Simpsons news tidbits from the past month.

  • Wes Archer shared part of a script from the Tracey Ullman short “Burp Contest.” Interesting to note Marge and Homer were just “Mom” and “Dad” back then. [Wes Archer]
  • Showrunner-turned-fast-food-reviewer Bill Oakley appeared in a Burger King commercial. [Bill Oakley]
  • The Star Wars-themed Disney+ commercial short Maggie Simpson in “The Force Awakens from Its Nap” is nominated for an Emmy. [Cartoon Brew]
  • Kid Leaves Stoop did a video about the much-maligned Homer-head-shaped Season 6 DVD set (I’m pro-head for the record), and made a startling discovery about the security of the site you had to visit to get a replacement box. [Kid Leaves Stoop]
  • The Simpsons held a Comic-Con panel over Zoom. There’s no Homer hologram this time, but the part where they play Pictionary is pretty fun. Also, the ever-punctual Matt Groening shows up late towards the end. [Comic-Con International]
  • New Simpsons writer Broti Gupta is promoting an Amazon wishlist to help unhoused people in Los Angeles. [Broti Gupta]
  • The great Simpsons blog Dead Homer Society appears to have let the domain name lapse, but luckily it’s still on WordPress.
  • The Department of Energy is redacting documents relating to a BuzzFeed-style Simpsons blog post they did. What are they hiding?!? [Vice]
OAKLEY CORRAL

An image of Bill Oakley facing off against the Wendy's mascot

Watch out Wendy’s, because a certain showrunner is bringing the heat!

Former Simpsons producer Bill Oakley WENT OFF on the chain’s recently reintroduced Spicy Chicken Nuggets during a live Instagram review earlier this month. “I wanted to go try them, I’ve never had Wendy’s spicy nuggets,” he told his followers, explaining that although he dislikes Wendy’s chicken, he wanted to see what the hype was about and be prepared for the inevitable comparison to McDonald’s Spicy Chicken McNuggets.

Well, the writer of “Steamed Hams” must have felt pretty steamed himself when he ate a nugget and discovered it didn’t taste very good.
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NEWS ROUNDUP

police dog

  • The Simpsons lost every Annie Award it was nominated for (including one for the infamous rag episode), but Simpsons alumni Rich Moore won Best Director and his film Wreck-It Ralph won Best Feature, so good for him!
  • My Google Alert for “Yeardley Smith sex tape” has finally beared fruit! Here is a photo of Lisa Simpson’s voice actress cavorting with a naked man in broad daylight.
  • Simpsons producer James L. Brooks is literally on the National Rifle Association’s enemies list. No word on Matt “NRA4EVER” Groening, though.
  • Speaking of Brooks, looks like he got his Twitter hacked, with little success at stopping it. He appears to be waging a hilarious battle with the Twitter-jacker over which one is the real one. Just goes to show you, even if you’re a big-time Hollywood mega-producer, you can still get your stuff hacked. Stay protected, yo. [via @vmcampos]
  • Former showrunner Bill Oakley posted the pre-distortion audio file of Ned Flanders from Homer’s chili-induced hallucination. Much respect for Harry Shearer.
  • UNRELATED SIMPSONS IN THE NEWS: 81-year old ex-senator Alan Simpson, namesake of the Simpson-Bowles commission, attempted to perform the Gangnam Style dance in a bid to turn young people into granny-starving deficit hawks. [via kushibo]
EXCLUSIVE, OAKLEY CORRAL

PrinceBill Oakley has done it again. Last Friday on Twitter, the former Simpsons showrunner revealed his personal top ten Simpsons episodes that were “pitched, discussed, [and] written,” but, for whatever reason, never produced and lost to the sands of time.

Now, most of our competition would just lazily copy & paste the list and call it a day, but we here at rubbercat.net/simpsons have much more respect for you, the reader. We have attempted to dig up as much information about these would-be episodes as possible, from audio commentaries, interviews, and story outlines, to bring you the most complete picture of these extra-bonus-non-episodes as possible. Let’s run through the list, shall we?


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THE INSIDE SCOOP

!!!!!True Simpsons maniacs know that the show’s reclusive creator, Matt Groening, hasn’t been a part of the show since 1999, when he retreated to a yurt in central Oregon and cut off all ties with the outside world in a self-imposed exile. Well, apparently the Groenster has returned to the show, and he’s been making some MAJOR, DRASTIC CHANGES that will be hitting your TV screens in 2012.

I just received this e-mail from an anonymous Simpsons employee, literally less than 4 seconds ago. This brave insider has put his or her career on the line by breaking the terms of his or her non-disclosure agreement to tell us this EXCLUSIVE tale of behind-the-scenes turbulence and tyranny. I am republishing hir message in its entirety because it has to be seen to be believed…

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OAKLEY CORRAL

zuckerbergMark Zuckerberg and his Facebook goons have apparently deleted Bill Oakley’s Facebook account, effectively rendering the former Simpsons showrunner and current Portlandia producer a non-person in this hyper-connected age. The crack team at Facebook determined that Oakley was illegally impersonating former Simpsons showrunner and current Portlandia producer Bill Oakley, who is the same person, and swiftly deleted his account. Despite being informed his account will not be reactivated “for any reason,” Oakley has taken to the Twitter to bring the issue to as many Facebook employees as possible, as well as popular tech blogs Mashable and the New York Times’ Bits blog. In the eyes of this reporter, it is great to see Facebook allocating its resources on protecting little-known TV producers from impersonation instead of focusing on less important issues, like instituting better privacy safeguards.

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OAKLEY CORRAL

Julian Assange
Bill Oakley.

Former Simpsons writer/showrunner and notorious “hacktivist” Bill Oakley, who has been in communication with fans via the internet since before most people even had the internet, has been tearin’ up the Twitter lately, uploading a treasure trove of rare Simpsons material that has never before been made public. Among the documents uploaded so far: the first draft of “$pringfield, (Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Legalized Gambling),” the first draft of the “Skinner and the Superintendent” segment from “22 Short Films About Springfield,” the original story outline for “Two Bad Neighbors,” and a list of random ideas.

Among the more intriguing ideas lost to the sands of time:

  • An aborted “$pringfield” subplot involving Bruce Willis, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and Sylvester Stallone maintaining a Planet Hollywood in Springfield that got dropped since the three actors never actually agreed to be on the show.
  • More scenes of Springfield being hit by an economic recession, which somehow feels more timely and relevant than last year’s “No Loan Again, Naturally” despite being written a decade earlier.
  • George and Barbara Bush eating pizza.
  • An episode plot where Bart obtains 144 Jeeps for some reason.
  • This visual gag:
     

    The town secretary records the vote in a ledger, where we see
    previous idiotic town votes, e.g. “Above-Ground H-Bomb Test,”
    “Lower Drinking Age to 14,” and “Build Monorail.”

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OAKLEY CORRAL

josh weinsteinBill Oakley, one half of the ethnic comedy duo “Oakley & Weinstein,” has a brand-new blog in which he lists unpopular food carts in Portland, Oregon. Here’s a sampler:

100% Vegan Styrofoam Cupcakes (SW 4th & Hall)

Neglectful Mom’s Empty Bag Lunches (SE 3rd & Ankeny)

Vintage & Collectible Milk (NE 23rd & Alberta)

All fans of “Allied Biscuit” and “TableTime” are invited to attend. [Portland’s Least Popular Food Carts via @thatbilloakley]